Immortal Irony 32


Having moved back to Scotland, for the first time in decades I haven’t been invited to do an Immortal Memory anywhere, after delivering it all round the World. That seems ironic. If anyone is short of a speaker, do get in touch via the contact button top right. I do reflect Burns’ bawdy side, so not for the prudish.


32 thoughts on “Immortal Irony

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  • ------------·´`·.¸¸.¸¸.··.¸¸Node

    Ha Ha, Fred. A good imitation but not the real thing. Here’s the man himself:

    Poetical Inscription, for An Altar to Independence at Kerroughtree

    Thou, of an independent mind
    With soul resolv’d, with soul resigned;
    Prepar’d pow’rs proudest frown to brave,
    Who wilt not be, nor have a slave;
    Virtue alone who dost revere,
    Thy own reproach alone dost fear,
    Approach this shrine, and worship here.

  • Ba'al Zevul

    The Immoral (sic) Memory

    Nine Inch Will PLease a Lady

    `Come rede me, dame, come tell me, dame,
    `My dame come tell me truly,
    `What length o’ graith, when weel ca’d hame,
    `Will sair a woman duly?’
    The carlin clew her wanton tail,
    Her wanton tail sae ready —
    I learn’d a sang in Annandale,
    Nine inch will please a lady. —

    But for a koontrie c-nt like mine,
    In sooth, we’re nae sae gentle;
    We’ll tak tway thumb-bread to the nine,
    And that’s a sonsy p-ntle:
    O Leeze me on my Charlie lad,
    I’ll ne’er forget my Charlie!
    Tway roarin handfu’s and a daud,
    He nidge’t it in fu’ rarely. —

    But weary fa’ the laithron doup,
    And may it ne’er be thrivin!
    It’s no the length that maks me loup,
    But it’s the double drivin. —
    Come nidge me, Tam, come nidge me, Tam,
    Come nidge me o’er the nyvel!
    Come lowse and lug your battering ram,
    And thrash him at my gyvel!

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