Yes Minister Fan Fiction 433


I have been rather unwell this last week with atrial fibrillation, and at 5am last Sunday morning had the paramedics out and puzzling over the ECG results. This particularly severe episode was a result of being out in the cold and storm for hours on the AUOB march, and I felt so guilty at being a self-inflicted drain on the NHS that I declined their offer to take me into hospital and decided to recover at home.

I did however get to thinking about whether, had I indeed toddled off on my next great adventure, I would regret holding information which I had not imparted to you. Well, I couldn’t in those circumstances regret not having imparted it as I would be deid, but you know what I mean. As it happened the thing I found I was most worried about not being able to impart was not, at least on its surface, a case of world sweeping importance, but rather of individual injustice. Though the surface often hides a great deal.

Anyway, having recovered I was saddened by the death of Derek Fowlds, who to me was always Mr Derek of Basil Brush. In fact I remember my confusion when Mr Derek replaced Mr Rodney, who I only learnt this week was in fact Rodney Bewes, another great comic actor of whose wider work I was at primary school unaware. Derek Fowlds of course became most famous in his brilliant role as Bernard in Yes Minister. Lying in bed getting better, I decided to while away the time by writing some Yes Minister fan fiction in tribute.

As with the original series, although based on a realistic civil service scenario dealing with similar events to those the civil service actually deals with, this conversation between a Minister and Permanent Secretary is purely fictional. No real situation is alluded to and any resemblance between the people and situations portrayed here and anything that is happening in real life is entirely accidental. Please do not attempt in the comments section to relate this entirely fictional hommage to Yes Minister to any actual events involving any actual court cases. Because you might wander into contempt of court.

This is of course my first Yes Minister effort.

FIRST YES MINISTER

Perm Sec. You see Minister, all you have to do is destroy your predecessor’s reputation. In the modern “Me Too” atmosphere, you accuse someone of sexual offences and politically they are finished. In fact you can do what you like to him.
Minister Like Julian Assange?
Perm Sec Exactly, Minister. Like Julian Assange. We yelled “rape” at him and then had to do nothing else. The left themselves destroyed him, led by the feminists of course. You see Minister, we feminists can be useful sometimes. (Canned Laughter)
Minister Yes, by the time they had finished with him, the government could torture him to death in plain sight and nobody cared.
Perm Sec Precisely Minister, and the hilarious thing was that there never was any rape and we never had to produce any evidence in court.
Minister Yes, brilliant. But it’s not an exact parallel with Orpheus though, is it Permanent Secretary? We don’t have any extradition request for Orpheus once any sexual charges fall.
Perm Sec The charges won’t fall, Minister, they won’t fall. We will get him found guilty.
Minister But he isn’t actually a rapist, you know. Not one of these incidents looks anything like rape. In fact they are all very flimsy. There isn’t one single independent witness and I don’t think any of them could be proven in court.
Perm Sec Please don’t worry yourself. It doesn’t matter, Minister. All we need is the word “rape” in the newspaper headlines. “Attempted rape” will do. You just tell the prosecutor to get the word out there, spread it in the media and Orpheus is finished.
Minister Even if he is not guilty?
Perm Sec He will be guilty. Whether he is guilty is irrelevant, he will be found guilty. This is where we use “more of”.
Minister “More of”?
Perm Sec Yes, “More of”. It’s not an official legal term, but all the lawyers know it as the oldest trick in the prosecutor’s book.
Minister What do you mean, Permanent Secretary?
Perm Sec Well look, we have the canoodling episode, the kiss in the office and a couple of suggestive remarks about sexy clothes.
Minister The sexy remarks are hardly illegal, are they?
Perm Sec Good God, Minister, what century are you in? (Canned Laughter). Sexual harassment, Minister. Kiss someone at the office party and tell someone else their figure looks good in that blouse, and you have established a pattern of behaviour. “More of” you see, Minister. The “more of” this stuff you throw, the better chance some of it will stick.
Minister But we don’t have that many instances. We went through absolutely everything. We had a team of 24 policemen working on it for 10 months and this was all we can find.
Perm Sec It is time to get creative then, Minister. We need more women to make allegations. In these circumstances it is always best to keep things close. Activate the women you know, Minister, activate the women you know.
Minister I don’t have that many friends, Permanent Secretary. I spend all my time reading books. (Canned Laughter).
Perm Sec Oh really, Minister, think. You must have some women very close to you.
Minister Well, there is Miss Barclay, my own Private Secretary.
Perm Sec Perfect, Minister perfect! Miss Barclay should be good for at least four allegations! Get her to say he tried to kiss her. Often.
Minister But surely nobody will believe my own Private Secretary – and she was involved in putting the dossier together and in discussions on handling the case. Nobody is going to believe her. And (gasps in horror) it really leads straight back to me being behind it, doesn’t it?
Perm Sec It can’t be traced back to you, Minister.
Minister Phew, that’s a relief. It can’t be traced back to me you say. How does that work?
Perm Sec Accuser anonymity, Minister.
Minister Accuser anon… oh yes! Oh yes! I am beginning to see!! They are sexual allegations so…
Perm Sec The identities of the accusers can be kept hidden by the court under penalty of severe jail sentences for anybody who reveals them so…
Minister …the accusers can just be my closest political cronies and the public will never be aware of that! That’s brilliant, Perm Sec!
Perm Sec Thank you, Minister (Canned Laughter)
Minister And thank God for that, because if the party faithful thought that I was trying to stitch up my predecessor they would have my guts for garters (Canned Laughter).
Perm Sec Heaven forfend, Minister!
Minister What? Oh too right. I was just thinking, Permanent Secretary, you know I am starting to get the hang of this. What about old Marmalade? He is very keen to get back into parliament and sees himself as a potential successor.
Perm Sec Marmalade? Well I suppose if we start adding in gay allegations, it does give a slightly more exotic tinge for the tabloids.
Minister I was thinking more of his wife, Permanent Secretary. If the old Marmalade family want a nice safe seat in the capital, let them do something to earn it.
Perm Sec Indeed, Minister. And is the wife not a former Special Adviser?
Minister Yes, is that a problem?
Perm Sec On the contrary, Minister. You see it is very useful. A SPAD is of course only a particularly spotty political hack whom politicians have conned the taxpayer into paying, but technically a SPAD is still a form of civil servant.
Minister Yes, and what of it?
Perm Sec Well, the words “civil servant” convey integrity, honesty and trustworthiness. (Canned laughter). We can leak to the tabloids that one of the accusers is a civil servant, and people will believe it must be genuine and independent. Very cunning idea if I may say so, Minister.
Minister Was it? Oh yes, I am cunning, aren’t I. (Canned laughter). But I still worry that none of the accusations is going to be individually convincing.
Perm Sec Doesn’t matter, Minister, doesn’t matter. Remember “More of”. Quantity not quality, Minister, quantity not quality. They don’t have to be individually convincing, just to give the impression of no smoke without fire.
Minister Oh well, I understand that now. In that case I can think of three or four more women very close to us indeed who can make allegations, if independence or credibility are not important and nobody will ever know who they were.
Perm Sec Volume is important, Minister, volume. It does not have to be heavy stuff. Just get them to allege an attempted kiss here, a brush of the hand on the bum as they were going out the door there.
Minister To build a pattern of behaviour.
Perm Sec Precisely, Minister, precisely. To build a pattern of behaviour. I see you have got it.
Minister But isn’t there a problem here, Permanent Secretary? If this man was a sexual predator on a large scale, there would be whispers for years and people in political circles would surely know. But he doesn’t have that reputation at all.
Perm Sec Don’t worry, Minister, he soon will have that reputation. (Canned Laughter). The media will believe it because we will tell them to believe it. And once the media believe something, the population will believe it too. Every politician has enemies, Minister, Orpheus more than most.
Minister But isn’t there a potential danger here, Permanent Secretary? I mean all of this is nonsense, so won’t he be acquitted and emerge possibly stronger than before?
Perm Sec Don’t worry, Minister, he won’t be acquitted. We have a legally invincible alliance on our side. “More of” is powerful, but “more of” combined with “home” becomes an irresistible force.
Minister (puzzled) “More of” and “home”.
Perm Sec Yes Minister. Answer me this. What does a jury want more than anything?
Minister To do justice?
Perm Sec Wrong, Minister, wrong. Home. A jury wants to go home. (Canned Laughter) Jurors are ripped away from their homes, jobs and families for weeks. At the end of it they are locked in a stuffy room with other jurors they don’t like, and not allowed to go home until they have all reached a verdict. So what do they do to reach agreement?
Minister Aaah, I see now. They compromise.
Perm Sec Exactly, Minister. They will compromise. It’s a natural human instinct to avoid conflict. There will be some people who think him totally innocent as nothing was individually proven, but there will be others who will think he must have done something wrong or there could not possibly be so many accusations. The power of “more of”. Of course they will chuck out the “attempted rape” very quickly as obvious nonsense. In the end they will find him not guilty on nearly all counts, but as a compromise will convict him of stroking someone’s hair, patting their bum or saying they look sexy.
Minister But surely he will hardly be jailed for that?
Perm Sec Doesn’t matter, Minister. “Rapist” will already be firmly printed on the public mind, and so long as we have the magic word “guilty” it does not matter what he is guilty of. And it can’t fail. With so many charges, the jury is simply bound to find him guilty of something so they can compromise and all go home.
Minister Brilliant, Permanent Secretary, brilliant.
Perm Sec Thank you.
Minister So that’s finally going to put a stake through his heart. No more Frank Sinatra comebacks and no more Quixotic campaigns chasing unicorns.
Perm Sec Yes, Minister.


433 thoughts on “Yes Minister Fan Fiction

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  • Republicofscotland

    So it begins as the Scottish Tories plead to Boris Johnson to bring in a raft of measures aimed at weakening Holyrood and the Scottish government.

    Including forcing Sturgeon to get Alister Jacks permission to travel overseas on business.

    The Tory branch office in Scotland latched onto the idea after a tweet by Stephen Daisley (yes him) also added that Johnson should bring about a new Scotland act, ending the permanence of Holyrood, and banning the Scottish government from spending on a constitution.

    Daisley’s tweet added that the Scottish government should be returned to the Scottish executive.

    I think we know fine well what the union has in store for us if we fail to gain independence sooner than later.

    Meanwhile as if to further snub any thoughts of democracy North of the border, Northern Ireland has been given a seat at the post-Brexit talks, however requests from Scottish ministers to attend have been completely ignored.

    To make matter more intolerable Tory MP’s succeeded in reversing an amendment in the House of Lords, to the Brexit Withdrawal bill that would have given assurances that Westminster wouldnt tamper with devolved powers.

    We must breakout of this undemocratic union sooner than later, or face the consequences.

  • jmg

    Juan Passarelli, journalist (Jan 23, 2020):
    > Kristinn Hrafnsson editor in chief of WikiLeaks: “We learned today from the prosecution that the US does not consider foreign nationals to be protected under the 1st Amendment” #DontExtraditeAssange #FreeJulianAssange
    https://twitter.com/jlpassarelli/status/1220314245956538369

    However:

    “The First Amendment covers everyone. . . . The First Amendment also covers non-citizens such as Assange.”
    — Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press, May 30, 2019

    Special Analysis of the May 2019 Superseding Indictment of Julian Assange — The Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press
    https://www.rcfp.org/may-2019-assange-indictment-analysis/

  • Cubby

    BRITNATS REVEAL THEIR TRUE FASCIST NATURE

    As each day passes and the British Nationalist parties realise that Scottish independence gets nearer and that they cannot and probably never will win an Election in Scotland their true fascist nature reveals itself.

    Your votes are immaterial they say. Your mandate is worthless they say.

    It is being suggested that the FM of Scotland should only be allowed to travel abroad if she has been given permission to do so by the Tory Secretary of State for Scotland Alister Jackboot. So the Tories have already removed consular support from the FM when she travels abroad (Scots pay for this) but now plan to stop her travelling abroad. What next house arrest and concentration camps. Alister Jackboot the worse of the Vichy Scots – a landowning toff who thinks the Middle Ages got it right with the laid serf approach.

    Note none of these measures are being applied to the other devolved nations. Oh that’s right they are controlled by Britnat parties.

    Is there another devolved Parliament in the world where three out of the 5 Political parties present are representatives of a different nation and lobby for the priorities of the other nation. If that is not bad enough the Presiding Officer is a Britnat as well.

    Colonialism and fascism the hallmark of the British Nationalist parties and their supporters

      • Cubby

        Andyoldlabour

        Unlike many in Scotland I never fell for any of the old or new British Labour in Scotland guff and never took any of their advice. So I won’t be starting now. So you know what you can do with your patronising remark.

        Colonialism and fascism the hallmark of British Nationalist parties and their supporters.

        • Hatuey

          The unresolved issue at the core of England’s lurch to the right is the exasperating poverty and neglect of ordinary people. When Labour abandoned those people for the middle ground, they opened Pandora’s Box. Brexit and so much else sprang from that.

          I don’t distinguish between Old and New Labour. It’s convenient for some to do that but the reality is we are talking about the same party. The pretence of an “Old Labour” is rolled out every few years, usually when Labour are in opposition, as a marketing ploy. Everybody sees right through the ploy, except it seems those that are part of it.

          So, what now? The Tories are left to try and tame the beast created by Labour. Since they’re never going to address the real underlying problems with any seriousness, we can expect England to go further and further to the right (deeper into the sewer) as the Tories try to buy the bewildered English herd off with the usual thinly veiled racism and ugly expressions of nationalism.

          In the next few years we will see if there are any hard limits to this decline. All the ingredients and conditions for real fascism are there — militarism, racism, a sense of entitlement and superiority, glorification of history & colonialism, mass poverty, atomisation of society, anger, etc. These are the things they’ll be shamefully celebrating at the end of the month, with their bongs and bunting.

          It’s a hate-fest. Only the English themselves don’t see it. Ordinary Germans didn’t see anything wrong with enjoying the Nuremberg Rallies either.

          We have all that to look forward to.

  • Gavin C Barrie

    “And what are you going to do about it?”, is the the bully’s response to complaints of unfair treatment. And this is the situation facing Scotland, and what are we going to do about Westminster’s behaviour towards us?

    Request permission to hold a referendum? Declined.
    Request to attend Brexit negotiations over Scotland’s resources? Declined.
    Royal Assent to the the Brexit Bill signed off by royalty. The protests of Wales, N Ireland, and Scotland/ Ignored.

    And still we have some among us…”Oh we must have a legal, recognised independence referendum, otherwise what would the international community think of us?”.

    Harrumph.

    • Iain Hamilton

      Harrumph indeed. There’s not much I miss about twitter, but you’re in that very short list

  • michael norton

    Around 33 percent of the catches of the European fishing fleet are caught in what will soon be claimed as British waters.

    We need to tell the Europeans to clear off out of our waters, we want all the fish , just for us.

    • Laguerre

      Otherwise, we’ll starve evidently.

      Well, it was the British who sold off the quota, so you can blame the hyper-capitalists who sold off your birth-right. Then the Canadians who run much of the remaining fleet out of Peterhead, that’s noble local British ownership, with Lithuanian crews, is it.

      • michael norton

        Laguerre, you are missing a trick and that trick is Brexit.
        We have not sold off our birth-right, we merely allowed ourselves to be coerced by the E.U. with regard to our fishing grounds, as we transition into an era when we will not longer be under the jackboot of Europe, we will claim back our birth-right,
        we no longer want to be rule-takers, that is the point of Leaving.

        • cubby

          Michael Norton

          You don’t want to be rule takers but instead you will be getting shafted day and night by Trump.

          In the EU the UK had a say now you will be told when and for how long to bend over by the USA. Enjoy.

    • Deb O'Nair

      “We need to tell the Europeans to clear off…”

      You mean foreigners, as the UK is a European nation.

    • Cubby

      Michael Norton

      I’ve noticed over the years that Britnats are not very good with their geography but the Brexiteer Britnat is crystal clear with their xenophobia.

      The UK is in Europe.

  • Republicofscotland

    Thoughts on the Coronavirus, was it deployed a western party, attempting to damage the Chinese economy at an important time of year for the Chinese people.

    Now four suspected cases of the Coronavirus have surfaced in Scotland. With Scots attempting to show this undemocratic union for what its worth, and all three devolved governments rejecting the Tory WAB emphatically, this for the moment could turn heads away from what’s important and leave some fearful and weaken the drive for independence by reducing marchers and meeting etc.

    I’m reminded of the African viruses, that in my opinion were cultivated in labs but blamed elsewhere.

    The fake Novichok outbreak for example.

    I put nothing past Westminster and Washington, or Tel Aviv.

    • cubby

      ROS

      Some Britnat from a discredited Britnat party will soon be along to say calm down dear.

      Just like in 2014 when independence supporters told the truth about the new massive oil field that would start production in the near future they were told to calm down that there was no such thing. The Britnats said it was all conspiracy nonsense. A few years later when the field starts production the Britnats just lie and denied they ever said it and said calm down.

    • Node

      Thoughts on the Coronavirus

      It will turn out to be a big fuss about nothing, hyped up by big pharma to scare the public into demanding that the NHS pay tens of millions for overpriced unnecessary vaccines.

      More people will die of flu.

  • Trowbridge H. Ford

    Some people are funny, witty, or profound, but one makes a big mistake if one tries to be all at the same time – i.e. what has happened here. Can you imagine Hegel cracking a joke or Terry Jones trying the history of philosophy?

    That’s what has happened here, and better to leave the original series alone?

    • Deb O'Nair

      “or Terry Jones trying the history of philosophy?”

      As Terry Jones was an historian I can imagine that quite easily. His excellent history on the Crusades is an example of his work. Jones also directed the Python films Life of Brian and The Holy Grail, both of which make a good stab at being historically accurate albeit in the context of comedy movies.

  • Ingwe

    Well, are all of you who support Scottish independence (I’m not Scottish but fully support Scotland being independent) just going to keep posting the instances of reaction by the Tory government, whittling away what few freedoms you currently enjoy, or are you actually going to do something about it?
    French labour (not that you hear much about it any more) and Catalonians take to the streets and mean it.
    If you’re waiting for the British government to offer you anything or you believe that the ballot box at Holyrood is going to bring about change, you’ll be waiting forever.

    • Cubby

      Ingwe

      Well thank you for your support.

      What do you advise?

      You mention about taking to the streets. Are you aware of the marches that have been taking place across Scotland? Do you think all these people do not “mean it”

      • Ingwe

        Cubby, my subsequent post was posted before I read your reply.

        I don’t for a moment, doubt the bona fides or sincerity of the marchers on Scottish streets; anymore than I doubt the sincerity of the green protesters. But it’s one thing to go on a March and sing songs and feel all good about yourself and compadres and then go home to comfortable middle class homes ( for the most part) pour yourself a Lagavulin and say “well that fooking showed them!” This is not the same as, for example, deciding to occupy say, Holyrood, or the stock exchange or Heathrow Airport or whatever. At local level, people should be organising committees to coordinate actions with other groups, getting unions involved, raising the awareness of trade union memberships that only solidarity with other workers and progressives will bring about change and that comfort and at times liberty will be forfeit. They can’t lock us all up or kill us all. Or if they try to do both we can either accept it or at least put up a struggle.

        • Cubby

          Ingwe

          There is plenty of organisation going on. Your comment about getting the unions involved is a joke. Most of the unions are Britnat unions controlled by the Britnat Labour Party.

          The Yes movement is non violent and democratic – can’t say the same about the Britnats.

          • Ingwe

            Cubby, I’m fully aware of the reactionary nature of most of the UK’s trade unions. But they don’t have to be and that is the purpose of local organisations. The false consciousness of many union members needs to be confronted and the awful complacency of working people who believe the simple lie that the diificulties in their lives, such as no social housing, hospital waiting lists etc, are caused by immigration.
            Probably the biggest success of the Tories over the last 12 years, has been getting working class people to believe that is was their actions (the working class ) that caused the financial melt down in 2008. It was one of the most disappointing aspects of Labour’s campaign, that they never confronted the bullshit, put about non-stop, that Labour was responsible for the recession.
            I have no doubt about the extent of the work required but trying to move forward, progressively, without working class support is bound to fail. Simply retreating into blaming everything on Britnat unions or Britnat this and that, achieves nothing and is a cry of despair.

    • Ingwe

      I grew up in apartheid South Africa, a member of the most immensely privileged white minority. Although the western historians like to present that the ending of apartheid arose out of discussions between FW de Klerk and Nelson Mandela (for which they were awarded the Nobel peace prize, which itself speaks of how the narrative was controlled) the reality is that only military action by the South African Communist Party and later the ANC, together with the defeat of the SADF by SWAPO and the MPLA aided by Cuba brought about the dialogue.
      Mao’s dictum that political power springs from the barrel of a gun remains as apposite today as when he wrote it. I didn’t believe I’d see the end of apartheid in my lifetime but when life for the majority of the oppressed population became so hard, the opportunity cost of taking up arms fell to zero. This is the path we’re all on. The only question is the point that we realise that only force will overthrow the powers of reaction. They are not open to discussion or never ending debate. They use force at every opportunity. We must resist!

      • MJ

        Indeed. For that reason it is very important that US citizens do not have their right to own guns (and ammunition) taken away.

        • joel

          Their guns and ammunition did not stop them being taken over by an oligarchy that rules only in the interests of the top 1% and the MIC. It’s become a country where 2/3rds now cannot put their hands on $500 in an emergency. However, they have guns, just in case ..

          • Tatyana

            what’s wrong with owning a gun?
            in Russia you can buy weapons for sports, for hunting and for self-defense. Permission for weapons is strictly controlled, it involves full medical examination, examination by a psychiatrist and narcologist, drug tests, police records, samples of the shooting from your gun for the police, mandatory immovable safe in the house etc.
            After 5 years of owning гладкоствол (smoothbore?), you have the right to own нарезное (rifled weapons? sorry, don’t know your exact terms).
            I know that in other countries you can just go to the supermarket and buy a gun, sometimes even without a license.

          • Tatyana

            I believe that the problem of school shooters is not in the right to own weapons, but in control of access to weapons.
            This is the same with the illegal weapons traffic. Juvenile morons just make the crimes more prominent. The problem is that criminals have access to guns.

          • cubby

            Tatyana

            “Juvenile morons just make the crime more prominent”

            The shooter who killed 5 year old children in Dunblane was a member of a gun club and was a middle aged man.

          • Tatyana

            oh sorry i didn’t know.
            I know for sure that the absence of a legitimate gun is not an obstacle for a criminal. He/she will either illegally acquire a gun, or simply choose another method for killing. Mankind has invented a lot of them. A lot of people can be crushed by a car, for instance.
            Or, another illustration, in Moscow a nanny cut off the head of a four-year-old girl and ran around the city with it. She had no guns. That family hired a nanny without checks, just gave a job to an uzbekiston migrant.

            It is always a matter of lack of control.
            The world is full of psychopaths, and with a modern tendency towards tolerance, they are given too many rights or, in other words, they are less controlled. So I’d rather have a gun, and you decide what is better for yourself.

  • Tatyana

    this is my question too

    joel – … cannot put their hands on $500 in an emergency
    Mary – … Nor can they afford healthcare

    Are you talking about the exceptional nation?

    • Wikikettle

      Tatyana. You must be so relieved Russia isn’t tied into our Western Bankster Debt economies. The irony ‘sanctions’ aka western blockade of Russia and Iran have made both more self reliant on food production and manufacturing their own products. Furthermore, other previously subservient countries and their populations are fed up of the corruption of their own politicians and finding an example in this new non-aligned blocks trading among themselves without the dollar. Sadly the EU has not had the independence to fulfil its obligations to the Iran Nuclear Deal and caved into US sanctions. I would not be surprised if the massive pressure on German politicians who they have in their clutches, renege on Nord Stream. Dangerous times.

      • Tatyana

        Yes, I’m actually happy about the sanctions, I already mentioned here that the sanctions really worked for the benefit of the native industry, this is very clearly visible.
        I do not think that the absence of the Nord Stream can seriously harm Russia. Because in the East there is a more attractive stable partner with greater gas needs, than Europe with its eternal political whims. Nord Stream is not the only project, if you look at the map of our pipelines, you will see how tiny its share is.
        https://eegas.com/fsu_r.htm

        As for the social structure in modern Russia: a huge number of spoiled people came out from somewhere, people with a distorted morality, with distorted values, with a distorted psyche, with a distorted logic – and all this is being presented as a norm, and you can’t just tell a person that he is an idiot. Previously, we did not tell a person that he was an idiot because of politeness, but now because of tolerance. And this is another curvature of reality.
        In Soviet times, there was better control over health and intellectual development and moral values in the society. The USSR can be blamed for political or military activities or poor economy, but with regard to social structure, this was good.
        I do not feel safe for myself and my children in a society where everyone is allowed to believe anything. Spoiled people have monstrous ideas, and they believe that they have every right to implement them, and no one stops them. This is the issue of criminals and that’s how lack of control leads to crime.

        • Tatyana

          What I mean by ‘distortion’ can be illustrated by the example of Pussy Riot. There is a video
          https://youtu.be/g-uS4-5K6Jo
          I see how several masked people rush into the church and begin to get some objects out of their bags. I see that the guard is running towards them, I see church attendants are asking visitors to leave.
          Since telepathy does not exist, who could be sure that these are not terrorists with weapons? After all, people did not know that these lovely kind girls just wanted to sing songs and pray 😉 But these lovely kind girls knew very well what effect they produce and also knew very well that the law would not punish them (after all, their team has professional lawyers, as far as I know).
          And they lie when they say that they don’t understand the reasons for the detention. They are lying. Lies – a distortion of reality.

          Now these lovely kind girls have a great reason to seek political asylum in the West.
          Do you know how to do this if you cannot sing in a church? Here is a “great” example (in Russian):
          http://prntscr.com/qs6w87
          “Sorry, I need help, could you give me a photo from the rally, the woman wants to ask for political asylum in the USA, I will try to insert her face in the photo using Photoshop.”
          “I need detention reports and fines orders, or at least a sample of the police stamp.”

          • Tatyana

            Yes, for ‘hooliganism’. The clergy also accused them of disrespect, because they made their show in a certain part of the temple, which cannot be entered without the blessing of a priest. Then there appeared a madman Andrey Borodin, who attacked the judge with an ax, demanding to let the girls free.

            Maybe I’m just unable to understand, but the great ideas of this artistic team passes me by. Sorry. I couldn’t catch the heavenly harmony of their divine music and didn’t recognize any vocal skill. Honestly, my cat sounds more pleasant when I accidentally step on her tail. I certainly haven’t missed anything valuable because of Pussy Riot’s absence.
            We say “семь лет мак не родил и голоду не было” (*for 7 years poppy wasn’t giving crops and there was no starvation*)

            The girls decided that if they call themselves ‘artists’, then disrespect and shoking is allowed and any place can be turned into a stage.
            People are such pranksters sometimes…

            But it turned out that other people also love to play and they also believe that the whole world is a theater. Another group of people decided to play the game “Orthodox Cossacks restore public order using historical methods”.
            Pranksters are such people sometimes 🙂 Surprisingly, Pussy Riot didn’t appreciate it.

            To be fair, later one of the girls admitted that this performance in the temple was an ethical mistake. Well, there’re different ways that people learn best.

  • bevin

    The biggest problem with weaponry in the States is the arsenal in the hands of the State(s) and its agents. There is no doubt that private citizens can and do perpetrate massacres on occasion but these are not unrelated to the regular killings carried out by police forces which are almost uniformly unaccountable.
    It is these regular shootings, of unarmed civilians, kids and ‘minorities’ which helps produce the trigger happiness and suspicion which, given arms often leads to tragedy.
    And then there is the State itself, whose forces kill millions each decade, from the individual assassinations, normally overt but which have recently, under Obama and Trump become openly avowed, the subjects of vulgar boasting. And facilitate the killings of millions more, in coups such as that recently carried out in Bolivia, which was accompanied by appalling -US condoned- violence. And the metronomic killings in Colombia by paramilitaries and Death Squads-20 indigenous representatives in the past month- which have been going on since 1948.
    And then of course there are the ‘disappearances’-tens of thousands of victims offered up to please and assist Uncle Sam- in Argentina, Brazil, Chile and throughout Central America. Or the million killed in Indonesia at the behest of the US and British Embassies in the 1960s.
    Excuse me if, like the late lamented Huey P Newton, I can’t get excited by the prospect of confining gun ownership in the USA to agents of the government, the armed forces and their allies everywhere.

    • Laguerre

      I don’t think much of excusing the daily mass shootings, just because you have a thing about state killings. Both are true. The problem is that the US is a bunch of religious nutters equipped with nuclear weapons. The US was founded on religious extremism, and it’s never changed. People in Europe just don’t have anything like the same obsessions. The sense of religious righteousness is what leads to the racism (behind a lot of the state killings), combined with the fact that the privileged whites are frequently not much of a majority, indeed may be a minority these days.

  • Buffalo_Ken

    I enjoyed the “British” humor of this piece. I know in my youth my brother and I used to watch Monty Python with glee. ‘Softy chair’ and such. Regardless, if you lose your humor then you are done for and sometimes hubris has the effect of stealing away humor if you know what I mean. I sure know this: All those poor souls whose decrepit bodies were forced against their will to hold a candle of their own fat in their dead dried hands must of been angry spirits after the candle burned out. Seems as if one of those spirits must of got in my head and boiled away my Scottish blood. I hate it, but maybe Ireland can finally separate itself from the monarchy which we should all know is old time history.

    Sorry about Julian A. but if you get yourself too mixed up with those who think they are running the show, then you must know that they will try to fight back using the nefarious tools that only they think they can wield. Most of us would never even consider doing as such but we must be practical in realizing that when it comes to getting rid of psychopaths you must have a clear vision and focused energy so that you can deliver blows they never could anticipate.

    I’d like to study more about Putin’s plans because on the surface seemed like a good idea to me. A sort of “George Washington” kind of thing. You may recall I did cry out for “grounding of the planes” a few articles ago. I know in my heart the downing of that plane was no coincidence nor is the fact that it was a Ukrainian plane. Sometimes coincidences happen but usually there is a simpler explanation.

    Get my gist?

    • Dungroanin

      BK Lol, nice synonym – Softy Chair!
      Is it intentional? It certainly works as a transmogrification!
      Original ‘COMFY chair’.
      ‘Softy’ in UK english means something else…

      ‘Two nations divided* by a common language’ as Churchill said!
      * ‘joined’.
      😂 Thanks for a pythonesque morning laugh.

  • Republicofscotland

    So the US has said no to the UK over the extradition of Anne Sacoolas, with regards to the death of Harry Dunn. It would appear for now that the grieving Dunn family might not get the justice it deserves.

    It’s been implied that Mike Pompeo interfered with the court ruling making it a political, rather than a judicial decision.

    Of course the completely obedient UK government wouldn’t dream of withholding the extradition of the innocent and unjustly held journalist Julian Assange to the US.

    • michael norton

      RoS what we should in minutiae be told
      is why and when was Mrs. Sacoolas accepted as covered by diplomatic norms?

      • michael norton

        Mrs. Sacoolas is not coming back, the Americans have been quite clear.
        If she had committed premeditated killing in the United Kingdom, to be clear, what an ordinary person would call murder, would she still have been covered by diplomatic immunity.
        If Anne Sacoolas was a CIA Operative within the U.K. does that of itself, absolve her and America from any actions she untertakes at the behest or with the acquiescence of the U.S.A. ?

    • OnlyHalfALooney

      I don’t know why anybody is surprised. DId anyone really think the US would return Anne Sacoolas to the UK after flying her and her family back to the US on a military jet from a US airbase?

      As Helmut Schmidt once said about the “special relationship”: “It’s relationship so special that only one side knows it exists.”

    • lysias

      The history of Mrs. Sacoolas’s State Department assignments came out sone time ago. They strongly suggested to me that she was a CIA officer under diplomatic cover. Her marriage to an NSA official strengthens this suspicion.

      The U S.’s behavior with respect to her now suggests that she is still CIA and was in the UK on assignment.

  • Republicofscotland

    The (NAO), National Audit Office has said its impossible to calculate just how much HS2 will cost.

    So what is 8% of a really, really, really big number that will be added to Scotland’s GERS defict, whilst we never reap any benefits of HS2.

    • Cubby

      ROS

      The truth is that Scotland subsidises England but unlike foreign aid it is done through deceit, misrepresentation and basically stealing. It has been happening for a very very long time.

      Year 1900 Revenue from Scotland. £16,859,000 expenditure in Scotland £4,973,000. % spent in Scotland 29%

      Year 1920. Revenue from Scotland £120,386,000 expenditure in Scotland £28,990,500 % spent in Scotland 25%

      • Republicofscotland

        Yes Scotland has funded England via assets and people for centuries now especially in their wars.

        I think it was General Wolfe who said if a Highlander falls in battle its no big deal.

        Interestingly the Brotish unionist media failed to reveal the names of the two numpties dressed in UDA paramilitary gear who gatecrashed FMQ’s shouting abude at the FM.

        If they had been seeking Scottish independence we’d know through the uniknist media every little last detail about them.

    • nevermind

      150 billion for HS2? That was the Labour manifesto pledge regarded as ‘ busting the economy’.
      How things change when the medias best bullington boy Government is in charge.

      • michael norton

        I thought the new figure was £106 billion for HS2.
        Personally I think it is a waste of money.
        an extra hundred billion would be good pumped into the NHS

  • Edward

    I think Robert Parry was threatened with being “controversialized” if he continued to report stories inconvenient to Washington.

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