October 22, 2008
The Balding Butt Plug
I have been offline for almost three weeks, and the reason is that I have been deeply depressed. I guess that it is time I came out as a lifelong sufferer from severe bipolar disorder, or manic depression as it was known when I was first diagnosed at Ninewells Hospital Dundee in 1978.
I have for almost all my adult life eschewed the chemical regulation the medical industry has so kindly proffered, and in general although very unpleasant to me, I have managed through self-will to control the swings as they affect others. The exception is when something depressing happens anyway and an adverse swing reinforces it.
I was very scared that the Government would use this condition to try to explain away the events in Murder in Samarkand as a result of my condition. In fact the government did indeed try to do that, by contacting a number of news editors across the media to inform them helpfully that I had a history of mental illness. In fact it is true that my illness affected the events in Murder in Samarkand, but only in the very limited sense that when they chose to attack me with numerous false accusations, the resulting depression hit me harder than it might have another. My employers, of course, were well aware that would happen.
As other bipolar sufferers, my principal symptom was in general the alternation of periods of unusual high energy with perods of lethargy. In consequence occasionally routine work would be a bit late. That was used as the basis of one of the accusations against me. It was of course more than balanced by longer periods of huge energy and creativity.
Anyway, enough of the past. I was depressed lately partly by the problems over getting the book published, but mostly by despair over the "Bailouts" in the US and UK. This incredible misuse of taxpayers' money represents the biggest net redistribution of funds from the poor to the rich in all of human history. The lack of real analysis in any of the media is what plunged me in to gloom so deep it was not even much relieved by the death of Jeorg Haider. Incidentally a friend who is a retired member of MI6 texted me that Mossad killed Haider. I replied it was about time they did something useful.
Talking of people the World would be better off without, I see that Nathaniel Rothschild, escort of Gulnara Karimova,
is in the news. The deeply sad thing about this is that Rothschild, Karimov, Osborne, Mandelson et al inhabit the same sleazy space. But I would certainly believe Osborne over Rothschild. God made Nathaniel Rothschild that size to be a convenient butt-plug for Russian and Uzbek oligarchs.
Posted by craig on October 22, 2008 11:45 PM in the category Russia
For the record...
I would happily do work for this government if it weren't for the presence of Jack Straw in the cabinet; his treatment of you (and the issues you raised) is the main reason for this.
Posted by: Manic at October 23, 2008 7:27 AM
very sad to hear about your recent issues.. i really hope that you manage to get your new book published, as i have just ordered your first work and am enjoying it immensely. I intend to force a copy 'pon everyone i know.
i have dreamt about peter mandleson every night since he was re-introduced into the public eye a few weeks ago. What a truly, truly appalling individual
Hope you're feeling better, I've missed your commentary over the past couple of weeks. Hope you feel up to making me depressed over the unpleasantness of some members of humanity in the near future. You can always be relied on to snap me out of my own manic phases ;-)
I think bipolar disorder is much better understood than it was when you were first diagnosed. From sufferers I've known, I can see that it affects people to different degrees. Some people, like you, can cope without medication whereas others find the medication very helpful - I don't think there's a universal rule. I've worked with a colleague who was bipolar - he was ever so good at his job and his bursts of energy certainly made up for the periods of lethargy and depression as far as I was concerned - though not, perhaps, for him.
I'm glad to hear that your mostly managing well. As for your recent depression, I would have thought that was clear evidence of your sanity, given the current state of the world.
Posted by: kazbel at October 23, 2008 8:28 AM
I should have added that I hope you are now emerging from the depressed phase - partly because that's better for you but also because I miss your blogposts.
Posted by: kazbel at October 23, 2008 8:34 AM
I love the mossad comment.
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
Well Craig, you are to be commended for your frankness. It's still regarded as a 'weakness' in individuals that publicly admit they are suffering, but I regard it an act of huge courage. Most people are touched directly or by acquaintance with depression, but few dare voice it.
Those who choose to smear in such a manner are monstrous - and incredibly stupid. What they fail to understand is that many of our greatest people suffer/have suffered from such afflictions. Churchill, Wellington, Nelson and so on. The list of the Great and the Good is stuffed full of them.
Count yourself as one of them, and ignore these petty, venal, numbskulls, who do not even have the wit to see beyond their own direct personal gain.
I feel for you, I really do. I know just how it is believe me. I'm not surprised, as I've noticed how sensitive you are. In a world that's so depressing one would have to be made of stone and stunted, both emotionally and intellectually, not to react in some way.
But one can attempt to externalize ones feelings and not direct them inwards. Of course this is easier said than done.
Personally I find the company of beutiful women helps my state of mind no end, and you have one within arms reach, lucky you!
You're intelligent, well-educated, knowledgable, smart, litterate, amusing, brave, unpretentious... I could go on but that would be tedious.
I often find that I don't complete enough of the work I start on which is frustrating. I write some brilliant chapters and the characters are jumping off the page and then for some reason it fizzles out, drains into the sand, runs through my fingers like water. It's very frustrating and depressing. But in the end I do get things finished.
I have 'black dog' days, but I don't know if I'm clinically depressed. I suppose rather than getting really depressed and lethargic, I get angry instead and direct the anger into my work and writing.
Many, many, creative people have suffered from depression. It's because we probably judge ourselves by such high standards and are too critical, we are our own worst enemies so to speak. We don't concentrate enough on how much we've achieved, and too much on what we haven't achieved yet.
As to the world - it's a bitch and probably has always been that way. We are imperfect creatures and so is the world we've created. I just wish we weren't so destructive in relation to other species and the natural world. The lions, tigers, gorillas, rhinos etc. don't get a vote and we don't ask them if they mind being exterminated. I don't see how we can launch a 'holocaust' on so many species and still think we are moral and civilized beings.
You are correct of course about this 'bailout' being arguably the greatest transfer of wealth in all human history. It's bigger than the enclosure movement and slavery in my opinion. But it's also a tremendous transfer of power from the majority to the minority, the people I regard as being the ruling elite, or a financial aristocracy.
There is a pattern in the way the mainstream media deals with great issues; issues like Iraq, Uzbekistan, global warming, the financial crisis. You are part of the approximately 5% alternative and critical sources/voices that are allowed through the layers of filter mechanisms that 'vet' the news and frame public discourse.
I've found that fiction is the place for me to opperate. I can get away with stuff like a comic fool or harmless, treasured, relation; a relic from a bygone age.
Maybe I should take you out to lunch at the Savoy next time I'm in London and cheer you up?
Hope you're feeling better.
I quite liked Peter Wilby's detailed analysis in this week's New Statesman that "they all piss in the same pot".
What's the gist of the issue.
Osborne got a bit over excited to be invited to the rich club despite not really being posh enough and coming across like a university student union vice president in charge only of Tennents prices down the pub.
Rothschild's pissed off that the goss left the club - making it more difficult for the parallel worlds of banking and politics to influence each other in future. (Information for blackmail has to be used strategically!)
And Mandy? Well he apparently has no clue what's going on in general and will soon be selected out of the system yet again.
I have a friend who suffers from Bipolar, so I can only say that I'm impressed that you manage as well as you do. Have you got any further with your book problem?
Also, do you have any comments on the current scandal surrounding Mohammed al Fayed? Seems like a classic example of a fit-up to me. I predicted a while back that the establishment would try to destroy him. Of course, he's no Angel so I could be wrong....
Regarding your new book, as of yet unpublished.
Your already using the internet to communicate with us all. Now take the next step and sell to us!
Print the book yourself! Run off 1,000 copies and post them yourself. Of get your Auntie Zilla to post them or something.
It will be liberating for you and works well for many of us:
1. It will get published!
2. You get to keep most of the cover price!
3. You will get to know some of the people buying your book!
4. It works! I have sold almost 2,000 copies of a very niche dvd from my website and your website is far more popular than mine!
5. Bookshops will take it on in time when all of the fuss has died down.
Get going now!!! ;)
(Hope that's not too positive, but you get the idea...)
Congrats on posting this, Craig.
I have two good friends who are bipolar, and added to their difficulties is the stigma that *still* attaches to such illnesses in the 21st century. It is greatly to be deplored. As someone said above, 1 in about 4 people in these islands will suffer with depression or anxiety during their lifetime - with or without medical help. I'm one of them too, but have been blessed to be free of it for quite some time.
I add my voice to those who say, "self publish". And be damned to the power hungry fat cats who would attempt to silence you.
Welcome back Craig. The reactions of the authorities to the inevitable results of the rampant criminal Ponzi scheme that was the globalized economic system depresses the hell out of me too. Leaving aside the gross criminality it fostered & rewarded, the system itself (forced perpetual exponential growth of every measure of 'the economy' - on a finite planet) was always a logical absurdity. It is clearly about to meet its Waterloo. It looks like countless millions of people are going to be faced with a world they hardly recognise in terms of lifelong assumptions of the 20th century religion of 'progress' (Towards what? was my constant refrain) - and countless millions more will simply starve to death. Here is a rather apt analogy of what we are in the midst of, from Jim Kunstler - author of 'The Long Emergency:
"we are witnessing the two stages of a tsunami. The current disappearance of wealth in the form of debts repudiated, bets welshed on, contracts canceled, and Lehman Brothers-style sob stories played out is like the withdrawal of the sea. The poor curious little monkey-humans stand on the beach transfixed by the strangeness of the event as the water recedes and the sea floor is exposed and all kinds of exotic creatures are seen thrashing in the mud, while the skeletons of historic wrecks are exposed to view, and a great stench of organic decay wafts toward the strand. Then comes the second stage, the tidal wave itself -- which in this case will be horrific monetary inflation -- roaring back over the mud flats toward the land mass, crashing over the beach, and ripping apart all the hotels and houses and infrastructure there while it drowns the poor curious monkey-humans who were too enthralled by the weird spectacle to make for higher ground. The killer tidal wave washes away all the things they have laboured to build for decades, all their poignant little effects and chattels, and the survivors are left keening amidst the wreckage as the sea once again returns to normal in its eternal cradle.
Posted by: Sabretache at October 24, 2008 8:02 AM
Meanwhile, back in the real world.
"Big Box Mart"...
Posted by: George Dutton at October 24, 2008 3:59 PM
Thanks for coming back to us, hope you're doing ok now. I too get supremely depressed by the actions of some members of our human race, but thankfully, and luckily, without serious effects on my wellbeing.
Further to fugazi's comment above, I'll buy your book wherever it's made available, and probably a few extras to sell on to acquaintances and place in local independent book shops (if they’ll take them).
Welcome back, Craig.
Great to be enjoying your posts again.
Oh well back into another world again...A dark world...
Posted by: George Dutton at October 25, 2008 12:45 PM
Jiddu reminds us of an old wisdom. There are a lot of people out here paralysed by the awfulness of it all and not as able as you to find a voice. You are unlikely to meet us in Whitehall, but take a walk and you are quite likely to bump into one of us.
You have sustained a lot of dispirited people. You even manage to make us laugh. We are with you when you are down, but we look forward to you bouncing back.
Posted by: the parret at October 26, 2008 11:50 AM
I was incarcerated last year for three weeks under the Thatcherite Mental Health Act of 1983, and the doctors were very keen to pin the words 'bipolar disorder' on to me, rather like 19th century lepidopterists pinning butterflies into display cases.
What fascinated me about the 'disorder' discourse I encountered was its total failure to set mental health within a socio-economic and political context.
On a personal basis, my mood becomes manic when I see signs of the end of tyranny in Britain (and elsewhere); and gloomy and full of ennui when I see signs of the tyranny entrenching itself further. If I didn't have those reactions, I might as well be lobotomised. The same goes for the so-called 'bailout' - you are right about the redistribution from poor to rich, and the overwhelmingly lack of any discussion or challenge, particularly within the mainstream (corporatised) media. Ditto for the rapid extinction of species and the failures to even begin to plan properly for the peak oil and climate change era.
Who wouldn't be depressed by such exogenous factors? Who on earth could possibly live in a country that has been ruled by such vile regimes as Thatcherism/NewLabourism without undergoing some form of mental anguish? Why on earth do so many people appear so happy - is it a matter of 'panem et cirenses' or is it even worse - opium of the people and hypnosis?
Please keep up the good work Mr.M.
Posted by: Matthew Edwards at October 26, 2008 12:23 PM
A lot of similarities to what is happening now,read it all to understand fully.
“The Scottish perspective”…
Posted by: George Dutton at October 26, 2008 1:26 PM
We love you Craig. Missed your blog. Alastair Campbell was on TV last week talking about depression. He said it can strike anyone. It's the right thing to be open about mental illness if your employer is understanding. Such a pity that society only cares about appearances. The programme made me respect him and Patricia Hewitt more, even if I don't like their politics.
"Peter Dale Scott's "Deep Politics" lecture at McGill University"...
Posted by: George Dutton at October 27, 2008 2:07 PM
I don't know if you're still feeling depressed, but you should drag yourself over to your computer and force yourself to write something! It doesn't have to be particularly good or insightful; forget the spelling and the grammar, but get those fingers moving again. Claw your way out of the pit through action.
"MCM: Well this is an interesting story. This book was supposed to be published by Kent State University Press, but when Phillips handed in the manuscript, they told him that it was twice as long as it should be and that they couldn't afford illustrations. This was not their original agreement. Phillips told them that without illustrations, the book isn't convincing, and he then decided to self-publish."...
Posted by: George Dutton at October 30, 2008 11:18 AM
I was puzzled by the posting errors, and somewhat curious as for the reasons behind it.
Glad to see you back, and wish you the best.
Haider's death ought to raise questions as to what was the last straw that crashed his car?
Never mind Haider is dead, but why is he dead, and what has been achieved through his death, is the question?
Finally it appears that BIS (Bank of International Settlements) is cutting out the middleman (Military Industrial Complex, henchmen thereof, and war) , and it has found a novel way of repatriation/taxation/shifting of the desired assets in a more exacting, and global fashion.
Post something. It doesn't matter whether it's funny, or a rant, or just a stream of consciousness. We're ALL behind you and hoping to hear from you. Even if it's just to say that you're still feeling a bit 'down in the dumps'. From reading the comments here, you're most cerainly not alone - either in mood or in your political views. So post something, no matter how short? And f*%ck the FCO, Nathaniel Rothschild, and everyone else. Your voice is needed, mate!
"The lack of real analysis in any of the media is what plunged me in to gloom so deep it was not even much relieved by the death of Jeorg Haider."
but 30,000 complaints to the Beeb about the Wussell and Wossy saga, a crisis manufactured by the red tops.
Thing is, the media isn't meant to have 'real analysis' of serious issues, that's not what it's for. This doesn't so much depress me, as anger me, spur me on to react, though I have to admit I don't so much take to the barricades as take up my pen, sharpen it and let fly! It's not much, but about all I can do. I turned away from the hustle years ago, took off my armour and sheathed my sword. This may, in retrospect, have been the wrong attitude.
The media exists to perpetuate the media and to 'sell' readers/viewers to advertizers. The ammount of real journalism in the media is extraordinarily low. I reckon about 5% on most serious subjects. I suppose this is depressing in a way, but only if one expects something more from a corrupt and highly controlled and filtered system; only if one still believes we live in form of real democracy anymore.
A small exercise.
If you wanted to be a serious journalist today who would you sign up with?
Posted by: Benny the Bridgebuilder at November 1, 2008 6:57 PM
I'm so sorry, I do hope you feel better soon. You've come through so much and not been beaten in spirit and I'm sure things will change for the better, doors close and others open... platitudes, but nonetheless, with truism at their hearts. Keep on!!!! You're not alone!!!
Best of luck, Craig, and keep fighting the good fight.
Best of luck, Craig, and keep fighting the good fight.
Like so much in society, control and discipline are increasing across the board. The gaps between the prison bars are narrowing. I almost think I can see a pattern that pervades everything, a ratio between crap and quality widening.
The ammount of 'quality' journalism in the newspapers is shrinking in my opinion. I think there are literally only a handful of journalists who really challenge the system in their writings. They are almost 'tokens' or 'trophies' that 'prove' that our media isn't as controlled as the media in a classic totalitarian state.
We don't need to kill journalists, torture them, or lock them up; because most 'trouble makers' don't even become journalists, and given the structure of the national press 'dissidents' are 'vetted' or 'filtered' before they become established. One learns that one has to become a team player and not make waves.
Re my earlier post:
I should clarify that "you" in my Hiberno English" translates into "one" in the Queen's version.
It was a general question and not specifically directed at Craig.
I would still be interested to know if there are any "mainstream" media people could identify with or trust, at this late hour in our civilisation?
Posted by: Benny the Bridgebuilder at November 3, 2008 8:15 PM
Seems astonishing to me that someone with a bipolar diagnosis should be allowed to be an Ambassador. Nothing personal - my sister is officially bipolar although the labels used by the pscyhs are, to my mind, pretty meaningless. I think her symptoms suggest that she's actually psychotic.
Imagine this. You've boarded your holiday flight. The captain introduces himself and says 'oh, by the way, I'm bipolar/psychotic'. What do you do?
Quite. I have a deep understanding of what these words mean. I don't want the UK to be represented by people whose minds aren't their own. Does that make sense?
"I don't want the UK to be represented by people whose minds aren't their own."
What an incredible comment. More than almost anyone on this planet in these disgusting times, and against all pressures, Craig Murray has proven himself to have a mind of his own.
Surely you are not happy to have the UK represented by people whose minds are owned by Bush, God, Murdoch, big money and the Israel lobby?
Good grief Andrew, do you imagine that our present elected so-called representatives and/or rulers have minds that are their own? No, I would say that even their souls and spirits are owned by Murdoch, big money (getting bigger and bigger, faster and faster) and the Israel lobby, amongst others. That's the whole point, when you are truly in complete command of your whole mind, and have not sold or given up one little bit of it to those trying to take it away from you (not least the broadcasters these days), it becomes a mammoth task to look after it, a task that is pretty difficult at times........
Try to get some words down on the blog. Anything will do, everyone here seems very supportive.
Have a look at Mark Thomas' home page (www.markthomasinfo.com)
He has quite a humorous note there about apparent threats he received from Coca Cola before publishing his latest book about them. Mention of defamation, damages, aggravated damages. But the book's out. It struck me, maybe you and he have stuff in common and you two should chat about book publication. Afterall, Coke's a pretty powerful adversary.
They demanded an advance copy. Mark sent them a box of poetry fridge magnets - individual magnetised words to write poetry on your fridge - saying all the words in the book are in the box!
Just had a thought - who publishes John Pilger's books? He's pretty forthright.
Hope that helps.
Looking forward to reading you again.
"I have a deep understanding of what these words mean. I don't want the UK to be represented by people whose minds aren't their own. Does that make sense?" -- Andrew Cooper
Not in the slightest. I feel sorry for your sister.
Good on ya, oulwan!
Who is this Cooper twit? Don't want him to pilot my plane.
Comon, Craig, join in the fun.
Posted by: Benny the Bridgebuilder at November 4, 2008 10:50 PM
"because most 'trouble makers' don't even become journalists"--writeon
I don't think there is one, good, "investigative journalist" now in these islands. Am I missing someone?
"Who is this Cooper twit? Don't want him to pilot my plane."--Benny
I'd breathalyze him for starters.
Surely many bloggers are "journalists" and not vetted by the establishment. Or are we now defining "journalists" as only those employed by the mainstream media. Seems to me, if that is the case, we are giving up too easily.
Anyway, why leave out George Monbiot, Fintan O'Toole et al?
And what about the alternative press?
Posted by: Benny the Bridgebuilder at November 4, 2008 11:22 PM
My comments were refering to the mainstream media. I'm not sure about the real influence or importance of blogging compared to the mainstream.
I don't think journalists are openly vetted by the establishment, unless one is chosen for an important position with real influence. One doesn't really need to vet people, as mostly only those who are 'qualified' for leading roles ever get near such positions.
I wasn't leaving out George Monbiot or Robert Fisk or John Pilger et al. But journalists of their kind are clearly exceptions to the rule.
When one considers how many thousands of journalists are employed in the media it's surprising how uniform most reporting is on most issues and how little room there is for alternative views.
It's my first post here and I'm maybe posting it in a wrong place. Sorry!
But i'm still curious to hear you on this article in Daily Mail:
Posted by: CheeKeeDee at November 6, 2008 11:13 AM
Thanks Ken. You have no idea. Absolutely no idea.
Jack Straw under pressure again...
Posted by: stevie at November 9, 2008 3:06 AM
See links for Straw sleaze:
Back again from Western Canada.I'm afraid the link I wish I could give you I can't find, so I'm going to wing it...complete with my commentary.
Perhaps 3 months ago I was browsing through an edition of the Red Deer Advocate ( Likely the Life rural section ) and came across an article which made me sit up and take notice because my deceased wife had bipolar disorder ( aka Manic depression as you note ).
Anyhow, some soul noted that pigs have a 'tail-chewing syndrome' which is treated by dietary supplements. Researching this is awkward in a number of ways : doctors know very little about nutrition and drug companies neither patent food nor allow natural healing to be freely promulgated ( pharma means plant: who'd a thunk ).
Anyway, the idea is that some people are less able to absorb the parts of food which their minds need for proper function and a dietary supplement is a simple enough idea that could be researched fairly risk free.Marketing would be problematic for any resulting formulae, though various tries were reported helpful in varying degrees.
I'm afraid I haven't been able to chase down the piece but will be alert for further advisories.
Anyway, electroshock, drugs and religion all seemed ineffective at positive intervention. Sounds to me like you are using biofeedback/self-hypnosis/meditation techniques to some advantage.
A thought zipped through what simulates consciousness around here. "The Revolution Will Be Televised...on YouTube!"
Posted by: opit at November 11, 2008 6:35 PM
It looks like you can pre-order Craig's new book on Amazon (The Road to Samarkand: The Catholic Orangemen of Togo and Other Conflicts): http://www.amazon.co.uk/Road-Samarkand-Catholic-Orangemen-Conflicts/dp/1845963601%3FSubscriptionId%3D0XG6PPP6VTJ3JGCM1102%26tag%3Dbuyat1705-21%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3D1845963601
Hopefully the above link works! It currently ranks as number 359,713 in their charts, let's see if we can get it in the top 1,000 for Craig as an early Christmas pressent.
That's Craig's new book at number 26,917 in the Amazon chart and climbing! The more people who pre-order this, the more pressure will be on the publishers so please try to do your bit.
The Road to Samarkand: The Catholic Orangemen of Togo and Other Conflicts: The new book is now number 11,645 in Amazon's chart and incredibly at number 3 under the category 'Political Oppression & Imprisonment'. I'm sure if eveyone who reads this blog for free buys a copy for themselves and a friend then it'll soon be in the top 1,000!
DONE! - "I'm Spartacus!"
Would somebody put Stevie's November 13 url or whatever it is in a suitcase so that the rest of us can read the comments without risking scrolling rsi.
Posted by: Benny the Bridgebuilder at November 17, 2008 7:18 PM
Would somebody put Stevie's November 13 url or whatever it is in a suitcase so that the rest of us can read the comments without risking scrolling rsi.
Posted by: Benny the Bridgebuilder at November 17, 2008 7:19 PM
You have a lot of friends out here . Bon courage.