Gordon Brown – What A Wanker 26

Gordon Brown’s attempt to spin out of the smeargate scandal by writing a letter to Gus O’Donnell to demand that writing smears is specifically excluded in the Special Advisers’ Code of Conduct, is ludicrous even by New Labour standards.


The implication is that McBride was doing this because writing stories alleging things about opposition MPs and dildoes is not covered in the code.

Here are some more things not specifically covered in the code, but which now will be specified. The new Gordon Code will say that Special Advisers may not:

– Murder Mrs Irene Tomkinson of Weybourne St, Cromer or any of her children

– Rob banks during office hours or while wearing civil service trousers

– Score goals in football internationals using the “Hand of God”

– eat human liver

– impersonate a Chelsea pensioner for the purpose of pecuniary advantage

– concoct false intelligence dossiers for the purpose of launchng illegal wars and killing hundreds of thousands of people.

I understand that Gus O’Donnell has advised that the last one goes too far and would interfere with the smooth working of government.

The real reform this country truly needs is that “special advisers”, or party hacks (Stalin would have called them political commisars) should be paid by the party, not the taxpayer.

Allowed HTML - you can use: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

26 thoughts on “Gordon Brown – What A Wanker

  • anticant

    The real reform this country truly needs is a moral renaissance in which the activities of partisan ‘political advisers’ [aka human scum], whether paid out of the public purse or not, are deemed totally unacceptable and both government and opposition politicians are held personally responsible for their own PR.

    Gordon Brown has apparently written to those smeared by this clumsy smutty plot which has blown up in his face that he “understands their embarrassment”. But does he understand his own shame, and the irreparable damage this episode has done to what little remains of his credibility? Judging from his emotionally and morally tone-deaf wooden performances at PMQs, probably not. But this scarcely matters any more ?” almost the whole country is now itching to be rid of him. The sooner the better.

    Like his equally delusional predecessor who is now busily reorganising the world’s religions ?”

    see: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7994618.stm

    – let him depart and trot round the globe “saving” the world’s economies. What a pair of prats!

  • MJ

    It never fails to amaze me how Craig can write such cutting and witty pieces so early in the morning. 5.46 AM for goodness sake. No wonder he rose so quickly through the ranks of the Civil Service.

  • David McKelvie

    Can’t we go back to the time when all MPs lived in the real world, had real jobs, and didn’t get paid? I believe that even Lloyd George, when PM, put in a good morning’s work at his firm of solicitors.

    Apart from reducing the cost to the taxpayer, and giving the bludgers exposure to what’s really going on and what real people really think, this would have the added advantages that they wouldn’t need advisors – special or otherwise – and they’d have less time to waste dreaming up more and greater stupidities to legislate about.

  • ceedee

    Great idea, David.

    It would also rid Parliament of all those pesky commoners without private incomes or benevolent employers (like trades unions)!

    That might be your solution to the democratic crisis but it certainly ain’t mine…

  • Ken Hall

    I agree with every word except the very last sentence. Party hacks should not be paid at all. They ALL should be fired!

  • Jon

    @anticant – Blair on this morning’s Today programme, as usual, made my blood boil. It’s not so much his predictable “reasonable pontificating” but that R4 are so accommodating to a man who, in all fairness, is regarded as a war criminal by millions of people. How is it, I then wonder to myself, that upon listening to a piece on his faith foundation, that the listener is left with not a shred of that controversy?

    I would complain to the Beeb, but having received a letter over their Gaza episode, I fail to see the point in trying.

  • David McKelvie


    Perhaps you’ve forgotten, but that’s why we have Trade Union sponsored MPs?

  • Anas Taunton

    The arrogance associated with the British which we thought had been crushed by two world wars has returned

    in every walk of authority.

    It may seem a small thing, the chief engineer not listening to the man on the shop floor, or the Prime Minister refusing to listen to the protests last week, but Hubris is fatal and is always followed by a fall: the loss of the Rover car company through the vast arrogance of its management or the loss of financial credit of U.K.plc because of one man, Gordon Brown who has been in charge of our economy.

    These issues are not going to be blown away by apologies or spin, by Blears blagging or as Craig says fiddling with the rules. It is not a revolution that is required in the sense of civil unrest. All that is needed is a return to pre-Thatcher and pre- Blair respect for people, and political consultation.

    They keep talking about a green revolution, but nothing will move forward ever under this absolutely arrogant 2 party regime.

  • John D. Monkey


    As many of us have said ad nauseam (and I would guess you agree), Brown has only one thought in his head: staying in office.

    His non-apology and his pathetic letter to Gus O’Donnell were both carefully crafted to that end. The only consolation is that he and the diminishing crowd of bullies around him genuinely don’t understand that these words make things worse not better for him.

    And I agree with Ken Hall. Although it IS outrageous that McBride was paid by the taxpayer, it’s even more outrageous that he was there at all.

  • George Laird

    Dear Craig

    A great post and funny too.

    I can understand why you hate the Labour Party for the way that you have been treated.

    I do however think you have got carried away by calling Brown a wanker, your writing is too good for that.

    The truth is the most effective weapon against people like Brown.

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird

    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

  • Vronsky

    Best job I ever had was as a labourer. Brown, I think, qualifies for one of our descriptions of inadequate people: he hiz wan wank in um, and its haudin um thegither. Apologies to those not bilingual in Glaswegian.

  • Anas Taunton

    Where’s the challenge? We have an odious war criminal proselytising through a corporation he himself castrated, on one side; an equally odious, racist slime-bag waiting his turn at the next election on the other. It’s easy to see why Gordon Brown is still in No. 10. If wanking is wasting sperm, Gordon certainly knows how to waste our money.

  • lesley

    Yes, Brown shows his real weakness by trying (over and over) to insist he knew nothing about it, deplores it etc. Yes, Brown is desperate to hang on to power, even if the country wishes him and all his cronies gone. The trouble is that the government is desperate to keep him in power too. Not that they support him. It’s just that they’d rather that the next election was lost by him, not one of them. Are there any people left in the House of Commons who have the nerve to form the Honest MPs’ Party?

  • Anas Taunton

    Yes lesley, the Gaza demonstrations showed which of the New Labour MPs still have consciences. It only takes a handful to make a party so its difficult to understand why they don’t act now, as Clare Short did a long time ago.

  • Peter Owen

    If Brown goes the tories will get in, now either some of you are too young to have known what it was like to live under the tories or some of you are too old to remeber but if you blair and brown were bad.

    Wait till you get a load of the modern day thatchers in cameron , lord smug coe and tory boy william hague.

    Be careful what you wish for cos you may just get it

  • magister ludi

    After all is said and done what I don’t understand is why he found it necessary to make stuff up.

    Surely there is enough truth out there to discredit many a politician?

    His behaviour isn’t just junvenile and misguided……it’s stupid.

    I’ll watch his career with interest.

    I hope that he vanishes into obscurity, in a position where his character defects have no consequence for others.

    I expect however he’ll get a lucrative job with a newspaper or guesting on/hosting a tv show.

  • anticant

    Peter Owen, I’m old enough to remember every government since Churchill’s wartime coalition. Attlee & Co were high-minded idiots. Wilson & Co were smart and sometimes competent idiots. Brown & Co are low-minded, incompetent idiots.

  • NonPartisan


    I’m afraid Peter Owen is right. Those that act on Craig’s intemperance at the Labour Party, which is now another Tory Party, will regret it when the other Tory Party wins office.

    Some historical facts destroyed by the corporate media:

    Under Thatcher unemployment SOARED! It was a lie – a mere marketing ploy – that Labour “wasn’t working”, that unemployment was higher under Labour than under Thatcher.

    An official source for the figures is here (go to page 24):


    The graph shows unemployment rising steeply after Thatcher was elected, continuing to rise for the next seven years, and remaining significantly higher than 1979 levels all through her time in office.

    This cost this country dearly. It is estimated that Britain would have had a sovereign wealth fund of over £400 billion from North Sea oil revenues, had it not been frittered away by Margaret Thatcher’s ideologically-driven agenda (“This Lady is not for turning!”)

    It is als elled against Labour is not that they have been a pro-Labour or socialist party in any way, but that they’ve been another right-wing corporate party.


    You can either revolt against the entire political system, or keep playing Craig’s political games – attacking Labour and egging on the Tories – and suffer the consequences.

  • Craig

    NonPartisan is a stramge name for a New Labour troll.

    I remember Thatcherism very well, thank you. I lived under it, and under its continuation under Brown and Blair.

    Vote New Labour or you are all DOOMED!

    Fuck off.

  • George Dutton

    “Attlee & Co were high-minded idiots”

    BEST government we ever had.

    It is the greatest sadness that the spirit the new age that awaited us in 1945 was so soon forgotten…greed and self-enrichment reared it’s ugly head. Attlee & Co tried their best the odds were always too high…God bless them for trying…


  • Mr Angry

    I think “Wanker” describes the man perfectly and is understood by almost everyone but should perhaps be prefixed by “Total”.

    However if you wish to use more polite terminology then how about “grossly incompetent”, “negligent”, “deceitful”, “arrogant” etc?

Comments are closed.