Michael Martin singlehandedly justifies every prejudice we Edinburgh people have against the narrow, stunted, ugly, ill-educated, self-serving, chancing whingers from the West. He shouldn’t resign. He should be ceremoniously drowned in Douglas Hogg’s moat. We’ve paid for it, so we might as well use it.
New Labour have had two Speakers in a row. That is enough. The Liberals want to foist Ming Campbell on us, but he is already as insufferably pompous as he is dull-witted. He would be a disaster as Speaker. They offer Alan Beith as an alternative, but he’s stupefyingly dull.
I am hereby declaring for Roger Gale for Speaker. He is a former Director of Blue Peter. If you can control John Noakes, Peter Pervert and Shep, then the House of Commons should be a doddle. More seriously, I worked with him on election observation in Ghana and he is dead straight, alarmingly energetic and with a real passion for democracy.