Labour Urgently Needs Gallery Vernissages 140


State propaganda and corporate media are wasting no time in promoting their candidate for leader of the pretend opposition: Chuka Umunna. He ticks absolutely all the right boxes. Private school educated, grandson of a High Court judge (which did not hold back his career to become a multi-millionaire lawyer) and entirely London based. Umunna has only ever moved out of the M25 on an aeroplane.

And connoisseur of gallery vernissages.

Umunna - Born Sneering

Umunna – Born Sneering

What is more he really is very right wing. His admiration for Michael Heseltine, which drew attention during this election, dates back years. He openly declares his heroes are Heseltine, Mandelson and Blair. Blair reciprocates by making known Umunna is his preferred successor. Blair has been doing this for years too.

Small wonder that the London “elite” promoting Umunna has slipped into overdrive quicker than Jeremy Clarkson. He has a long piece in the Guardian today, and was given a major guest slot on the Andrew Marr show to promote his leadership bid. His message in the Guardian is “We need an approach in which no one is too rich or too poor to be part of our party”. Which is an interesting example of the rhetorical device of false equivalence, as rich people are not excluded from Westminster politics, they monopolise it. As Umunna is himself stinking rich, he somehow evaded this exclusion. He argues that “we allowed the impression to arise that we were not on the side of those who are doing well.”

Nobody could accuse Umunna of creating that impression. Umunna is so much on the side of those who are doing well, that he joined a special social network for them called A Small World, an invitation-only club for millionaires that studiously excludes the working classes. This website offers

“Access more than 100 events around the world each month: intimate cocktails, gallery vernissages, gourmet suppers, and extraordinary weekends.”

As well as upgrades, for example from an executive suite at the Las Vegas Mandarin to the Presidential suite. Though I am sure Chuka is more into the gallery vernissages. Well, Chuka Umunna posted on A Small World to ask his fellow millionaires what venues he could go to in London which did not let in any “trash”. Just in case anyone had not understood him, he specified that what he wanted was a “trash-free weekend”.

A spokeswoman for Umunna stated that this was a joke.

I don’t know what replies he got. Evidently nobody told him to avoid parliament because of the paedophiles. Maybe they said he should stick to those gallery vernissages. Not many trash there.

Anyway, it is obvious to all our betters in the metropolitan elite that Chukka is the man for the job, so who am I to argue? I don’t even know what a gallery vernissage is. And doubtless he will rescue the party fortunes in Scotland, where core voters who deserted Labour in the schemes of Scottish cities undoubtedly feel that gallery vernissages hold the key to a brighter future.


140 thoughts on “Labour Urgently Needs Gallery Vernissages

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  • Mary

    Sugar leaves Liebour. No surprise there. Nothing there for him now. He’s got his peerage.

    Whoever promoted Dan Jarvis as Liebour leader was crazy. After Blair’s offensive wars against Muslim, who would want somebody who had been doing the killing.

    I note he is concerned for his own children’s welfare. How about the Iraqi and Afghani children that survived left injured or without parents Major Jarvis?

    ~~~

    Norman Smith was promoting Dave’s cabinet shuffle as ‘major’ on the One O’clock News. Wrong. The same main operators are in the same places. IDS, Hammond, Hunt, May, Osborne, Fallon, etc. Only Pickles has got the push to become corruption czar. 🙂 Others have been moved around a little.

    The Tory voters will be regretting their choice in a couple of years’ time.

  • Villager

    Ba’al, it’ll be interesting to know whether he has declared himself as non-dom, which would mean his foreign-sourced income would be tax-free unless remitted to the UK.

    Btw, I do recall that Labour issued an advertisement at the beginning of the campaign, containing quotes from various named top business executives. The same executives refuted any allegiance to the Party on the same day. My first thought was, and is, how the hell would they consider releasing such an ad without the consent of those quoted. Apparently the latter hadn’t happened. Rather reflecting the cavalier attitude and probable lack of depth of relationships on the Shadow Biz Secretary’s behalf?

    While he seems to ooze with charisma, I question whether this chap is not still but an apprentice.

    My intuition is that the next head of Labour will have her work cut out for her!?

  • YouKnowMyName

    Entirely un-connectedly, in this Los Angeles Times article, it’s claimed that many people in Poland became $$$ rich due to supporting T O R T U R E sorry EIT (‘enhanced interrogation techniques’, illegal in Europe, fortunately). historic smoke & mirrors unravel, a bit http://www.latimes.com/world/europe/la-fg-poland-cia-blacksite-20150510-story.html

    Meanwhile the Telegraph mentions that the BBC is about to get hammered, as John Whittingdale has been anointed Culture Vulture in the Cabinet.

    “Mr Whittingdale has been a notable critic of the BBC, and particularly its licence fee.
    Just last October Mr Whittingdale he said the licence fee was “worse than the poll tax” and is “unsustainable” in the long term. The appointment comes at a key time for the BBC as the Corporation’s royal charter which sets out its terms of business is set to be renewed next year. Senior Downing Street sources said they were “furious at the BBC’s coverage” of the campaign and accused the BBC of an “unforgiveable pro-Labour bias”.”

    I can’t quite believe that the BBC (which is presumably a willing & capable party in the 2014/5 information war & fully-on-side with UK Gov for much blind smoke & mirrors propaganda) is going to be turned-over for not being partial enough to unfettered business ops. . . What on earth is Auntie going to broadcast, just how much “freer & unbaiseder” can they become?

    We already have every Beeb news program leading with the wall-to-wall j*hadis to be found under every stone, or how Sydney is facing imminent radical terror threat, once their local FBI has talked some patsys into shopping for fertilizer+weedkilla at a gardening store; for what it is worth, a US exile & traitor here feels that Australia might possibly be over-reacting http://www.zdnet.com/article/snowden-australias-data-retention-laws-are-dangerous/

    meanwhile here is a nice long article in the London Review of Books, which may be fiction or it might be faction, a controversial news story that BBC is unlikely to bring us this week but it’s a nice read all the same http://www.lrb.co.uk/v37/n10/seymour-m-hersh/the-killing-of-osama-bin-laden

    as a balance to Seymour’s unique analysis, we have a rapid rebuttal from one of VOX’s ex-WaPo writers http://www.vox.com/2015/5/11/8584473/seymour-hersh-osama-bin-laden

    “In other words, for Hersh to be correct that the intelligence material was faked, and thus that bin Laden was a secret prisoner of Pakistani intelligence, and thus that the raid to kill him was a staged American-Pakistani ruse, then al-Qaeda would also have to be in on it — even though al-Qaeda was also the supposed victim of Pakistan’s plot.”

    hell, yes! (or No – take your pick)

    smoke & mirrors become the norm

  • Ba'al Zevul

    After Blair’s offensive wars against Muslim, who would want somebody who had been doing the killing.

    Someone who (despite himself) would like to see Labour led by someone who could organise a pissup in a brewery. And with some pretty consistent leftwing credentials too. Someone who made Major in the Paras is exactly what Labour needs now. Might do something for our decimated and demoralised forces, too. Think we can do without them, Mary?

  • Mary

    Miliband and wife have gone on holiday to Ibiza. Perhaps to the Umunna mansion one wonders.

  • Mary

    ‘Think we can do without them, Mary?’

    In an ideal world. Yes.

    Are we in danger of being invaded as we were in 1939? No.

    Have all our wars since then been offensive or defensive? Offensive.

    ~~~

    ‘It is true that Labour won three elections under Blair, but it is also worth remembering that the membership of the Labour Party dropped by more than half between 1997 and 2010, and only began to pick up again when Blair was gone. All this took place despite – or perhaps because of – its fervent embrace of militarism and its starry-eyed glorification of ‘entrepreneurs and wealth creators.’

    The parliamentary leadership was never too bothered about this, because it always assumed that its core vote had nowhere else to go and would come back to it come election time. Now that is no longer the case, and the old Blairite nostrums won’t work. They will not help the party recover its lost ‘soul’ and are further proof that the Labour Party no longer has a soul to lose. Over the next five years, we will need to see a huge fight against the Tory wrecking machine that is poised to wreak unprecedented havoc on British society.

    The return of Tony Blair and his cronies and disciples is further evidence that such a fight will not come from the leadership of the Labour Party, and that aspirational voters who dream of the rebirth of progressive politics will do better to look beyond these careerists and tawdry, vulgar technocrats, regardless of whether or not they want to shop at Waitrose.’

    ex If you want to shop at Waitrose clap your hands, clap your hands
    May 11, 2015

    If there’s one political concept I detest even more than the banal cliché ‘hard-working families’, it’s the notion of the ‘aspirational voter’. I had already had quite enough of the former during the election campaign, and now ‘aspirational’ has become the new buzzword as Labour’s ‘soul searching’ into the great debacle gets underway and a succession of Blairite ‘big beasts’ steps up to stomp on Ed Miliband’s political corpse in the pages of the Guardian.

    http://infernalmachine.co.uk/if-you-want-to-shop-at-waitrose-clap-your-hands-clap-your-hands/

  • Abe Rene

    @Ba al Zevul “So his gains don’t look ill-gotten.

    Did anyone say they were?”

    You’re right. Evidently I jumped to conclusions from the exchange between ExpatScot and Craig
    “I find it really difficult to believe you could get to that stage in 4 years, which suggests there was something else going on to make him a millionaire.”
    “Yes indeed! Don’t worry we are working on that one…”

    My apologies for so jumping. Chuka’s wealth should not be in itself a reason for thinking that he would make a poor ruler. Rather, anything that would suggest insincerity, or lack of concern for the unfortunate.

  • Ba'al Zevul

    In an ideal world. Yes.

    It isn’t. We still need them.

    Abe – lol. However, the definition of ‘ill-gotten’ needs much more work, doesn’t it? Personally I reckon money printed by a bank and subsequently declared to represent real value, when transferred into my bank account as a result of pure speculation on my part, would qualify as ill-gotten. New Labour wouldn’t.

    BTW, I see David Miliband, from the neocon haven he has found himself, is now falling over himself to diss his brother’s leadership. Obviously, he’s promoting a New New Labour which will appeal to the ‘aspirational’. Which is the new codeword for ‘greedy bastards’

    Probably not the same thing as ‘hardworking families’ (= dual income couples unable to afford the deposit on a flat).

  • Mary

    A good illustration of how wealth has migrated into the hands of the 1%.

    Double record lundi 11 mai chez Christie’s, à New York. « Les femmes d’Alger (version O) », une œuvre peinte par Pablo Picasso en 1955, a été adjugée à 179,4 millions de dollars (161 millions d’euros), tandis que la statue « L’homme au doigt » d’Alberto Giacometti a été vendue 141,28 millions de dollars (126,83 millions d’euros). Il s’agit respectivement du tableau et de la statue les plus chers jamais vendus aux enchères.

    http://www.lemonde.fr/arts/article/2015/05/12/picasso-giacometti-ventes-record-chez-christie-s_4631539_1655012.html#epAbAt2JsU7ifKW8.99http://www.lemonde.fr/arts/article/2015/05/12/picasso-giacometti-ventes-record-chez-christie-s_4631539_1655012.html

  • Tom

    Well, yes. The Labour Party alternate between a Labour fall-guy so the Tories get elected (his defeat always blamed on him being left-wing or weird) and an establishment stooge under false colours like Blair. Basically it’s do what you’re told by Murdoch and rest of the vile lot or you get smeared and presented as unelectable.
    I would never be tempted to vote Labour whoever they elected, by the way, but I fear for what’s left of our democracy, and it requires someone to stand up to the people who really run the country.

  • Jemand

    I once knew a fellow called Chukka. No, that wasn’t his proper name, we just called him that for his prodigous ability to projectile vomit across the whole length of a buffet table.

  • Jemand

    @Canspeccy

    Nigel Farage’s confidence in the Australian immigration system is misplaced. Apart from the fact that the numbers (200,000 pa) have been irresponsibly ramped up to drive a population growth economy, we are already overpopulated so any net migration is in excess of our carrying capacity. The geographic size of our country is irrelevant unless you consider the most hostile of arid land to be inhabitable.

    There is a political movement and party in Oz called Sustainable Population Party which discusses the many issues related to excessive human population and advocates alternative policies. The UK, like most countries, is derelict in taking action on this issue – see http://www.populationmatters.org/

    Incidentally, and incredibly, Craig supports unregulated immigration and population growth.

  • John Spencer-Davis

    Jemand
    12/05/2015 11:34am

    “I once knew a fellow called Chukka”.

    That has GOT to be the beginning of a limerick.

    Kind regards,

    John

  • John Spencer-Davis

    I once knew a fellow called Chuka,
    Who got dressed in his best bib and tucker,
    To apply, like a berk,
    To the “Small World” network,
    But they blackballed the lower-class fucker.

    How’s that?

    Kind regards,

    John

  • Habbabkuk (la vita è bella)

    JSD

    Nice one! 🙂

    Admit you’d already written it before you posted at 16h54…!

  • Habbabkuk (la vita è bella)

    I’ll give you one back (not mine):

    There was a young fellow named Menzies,
    Whose kissing sent girls into frenzies,
    But a virgin one night
    Crossed her legs in a fright,
    And fractured his bi-focal lenses.

  • Jemand

    Well done, John. I dub thee the resident poet, or limericist – if there is such a word.

  • Mary

    The M Den

    Exposed! Chuck-it-in Chuka’s shady secret: Labour MP belongs to members-only ‘den’ where he has his own £300 cognac locker and a bar named after him – so is this what rattled leadership contender?
    Bookies’ favourite Chuka Umunna MP shocked the nation and the party by announcing his shock withdrawal from the Labour leadership contest
    He said he wasn’t ready to put himself and family through scrutiny that comes with battling for the top spot prompting questions into background
    It’s since emerged that he is a member of the exclusive M Den club behind the Bank of England which sells £150 steaks and cognac up to £4,000
    Umunna keeps a £300 cognac locker and has one of fifty electronic keys to a secret entrance to the restaurant, opened by his friend Tinie Tempah
    ‘Boys playground’ is so exclusive that MasterChef presenters Gregg Wallace and John Torode had membership applications turned down

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3084677/Exposed-Chuck-Chuka-s-shady-secret-Labour-MP-belongs-members-den-300-cognac-locker-bar-named-rattled-leadership-contender.html

    Keir Hardie RIP

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