Ludicrous Claims Department 101

Yet another example of the appalling standards of modern journalism from the Guardian, with journalists not thinking about what they write, and of the fakery of the industry of “analysts” that leech off the “War on Terror”.

Zhukov has analysed some 30,000 violent attacks in the Caucusus region and found that in most cases there is substantial chatter between instigators followed by a claim of responsibility for the incident

Really? 30,000 attacks analysed, including researching the internet traffic of the perpetrators and their public statements?

That is rather a lot of work. Firstly you have to identify the attack and identify the perpetrator. Then you have to access their internet use and go through it looking for relevant reading, comments or relevant messages.

Let us presume you have such good access to the security services that they do all of that for you, and serve up the results to you on a plate, and that you trust their diligence, honesty and analytical ability sufficiently to work just from what you were given. If you were being served up ready to analyse dossiers of relevant internet traffic of perpetrators of attacks, how many such dossiers could you in any meaningful way analyse in a working day to form a view on the individual? Perhaps four?

Now let us presume four weeks holiday a year and five working days a week. It would take you 33 years of solid work, doing nothing else in your professional life, to analyse thirty thousand cases. That is to make the startling assumption that there is meaningful material on as many as thirty thousand cases to analyse, and you have access to it.

30,000 attacks analysed? Bullshit. Pure bullshit.

To compound which the Guardian also brings us that silk suited leech on public funds, Ed Husain of the discredited Quilliam Foundation. What passes for mainstream media analysis on security issues is risible.

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101 thoughts on “Ludicrous Claims Department

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  • crab

    Everything is seduced now. Protest is based on anger and denigrated for it. We need a demonstration, an education, an attraction to better ways. The most effective demonstration would be the opposite of a riot. Sorry if that’s twee or wishful.

    In the past the sight of something enormous growing towards us in the sky would have unsettled most people. If comet ISON this year turns out to be a great one, the mass effect on shared outlook could be heavenly. Few people will be unsettled by it because we know it wont smash us, but few may fail to be awed by it.

    Heavenly assistance or not, when is it going to dawn on us, that we have all the knowledge and all the things we need to turn this world around and live better on it?

    We have been toiling and fighting over our own organisations not with the limits and demands of living well. The framework of our wasted efforts and sacrifices is forged between gargantuan actors in competition and in league with each other. If those actors can not be lifted or self transcend their drama, we are consigned to all their… crisis.

  • Mark Golding - Children of Conflict

    To demonstrate we must prove our cause is valid. This puts the onus on us. A protest is disapproval, a complaint, we assert our right to question authority, we do not accept the some way we are represented and validity is expressed in numbers

    It is that anger that motivates us, stirs our passion and that anger can be directed and conveyed; we are annoyed but not violent, we are infuriated though never abandoning reason.

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella!)

    @ Moderator :

    Well done for deleting a homophobic comment.

    Could I suggest that Mr Scorgie’s post of 24 April (16h03) should also have been deleted for the following reasons :
    – completely off-topic (this thread is about the Caucasus and his post was about Gaza)
    – the usual foul and abusive language (“Zionist cunts”).

    Thank you.

  • Indigo

    Habbabkuk (La vita è bella!)
    Zionists are not cunts anymore? Since when? That must be some news!

  • mark golding

    CE — Another ludicrous claim from the Guardian. Violent crime such as stabbing, molesting, attacking the vulnerable and more are increasing and we report it every hour on UKCollapseRadio.

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella!)

    A gem from Mark Golding :

    “CE — Another ludicrous claim from the Guardian. Violent crime such as stabbing, molesting, attacking the vulnerable and more are increasing and we report it every hour on UKCollapseRadio.”


    Yes, I bet you report it every hour.

    Why should we believe “UKCollapseRadio” (the title says it all, doesn’t it?) rather than the Guardian? Just because it tells the story Mr Mark Golding likes to put about?

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella!)

    Establishing the truth and confounding the “critics” :

    Cost of Baroness Thatcher’s funeral was £3,5 million – and NOT the £10 million which was incessantly repeated on a number of previous threads.

    Eat crow, Eminences and Thatcher-haters….

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella!)

    “@ Jives :

    The CE,

    But no mention of the economic violence waged by the casino Capitalists eh?

    I guess life is good for you also CE eh?

    Lucky you.”


    What a silly, silly comparison….and what a silly, silly ad hominem.

    I thank the CE for his post and link, which provide a bit of cheering news all right-minded and sane people should be pleased to welcome. I know I do!

    And, “Jives”, if life is good to The CE then I, for one, am very pleased with that. As should be any person who isn’t a jealous, snivelling little piece of left-wing spite.

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella!)

    Early days yet, perhaps, but my first impressions are that the blog is improving :

    1/. more frequent imput from Craig to keep posters on their toes (well, most of them) and to distract the ravers and ranters from their pet obsessions and keep threads on-topic;

    2/. possibily a greater degree of self-moderation and cleaner language (although I did notice an obscenity from Doug Scorgie)

    3/. the welcome absence of the previous day-long newsfeeds from the BBC and other media and of snide and often ad hominem remarks about Jewishness and homosexuality.

    Keep it up!

  • Sophie Habbercake

    Dad. Mum says you’re to come in for your supper in ten minutes or it’ll go cold , AGAIN. And she says got to pick some parsley on your way past her deep beds. She says now you’ve moved your desktop down to the shed she may as well train you to be useful.

    Oh, and Mr Kemp came round again with That Man. He was really cross dad. When mum told him you were’nt in he just pushed past her and went straight to the stairs cupboard and he told her he knew where the moron hides and then he shouted “I know you’re in there” and flung the door open and when you were’nt there he got even crosser and told mum to tell you “Do you call that trolling? Pernickety, nit picking and feigned outrage? A F***ing baboon would do a better job!” And That Man kept on saying “Yus” and his hands were shaking. And then mum got cross too and she said people would’nt be rude about Zionists if Zionists were’nt so bloody rude to Palestinians and Mr Srougie was’nt off-topic anyway cos the thread’s called “Ludicrous Claims” and doesn’t that just about define Zionism?”

    Then Mr Kemp and That Man stormed off and Mr Kemp was muttering about that “That idiot better up his game or else…….” And then they were gone and then mum took Jeremy to his elocution lesson.

  • Sophie Habbercake

    Well what are you going to do about me, dad? Do you think I care about your opinions. I think mum’sright about that you should get yourself a proper job and stop trolling. I think I’ll be quite pleased when That Man finds you, dad.

  • Mrs Habbercake

    Rupert Habbercake.
    Come in for your supper this moment or I can tell you la vita sara molto bloody male.

    And do you really think all that drivel is going to satisfy Mr Kempe or for that matter that Mr Murray will give a toss about your evaluation of his blog?

    And do you think your superior tone as in “silly, silly ad hominem” makes you look clever? Maybe Mr Kempe had a point about baboons.

  • Jives


    You sound increasingly hogus and dull.

    Mind you,thats preferable to your usual sinister talking of Mary.

    Nasty little oaf arent you?

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella!)

    @ Jives :

    Well, I suppose that when you wrote “..sinister talking of Mary..” you meant “..sinister stalking of Mary..”?

    But in fact your error was almost correct, in that I draw the provisional conclusion that my endeavours to talk to Mary appear to have had the effect of getting her to re-evaluate her contribution to this blog and to reach the conclusion that providing running news from the BBC and other msm was perhaps a rather redundant exercise. And, important as what is happening in the West Bank and Gaza is, it is rather a relief that we can now, it seems, sometimes get through an entire thread devoted to other issues without any mention of events there.

    Although there are still a few Jurassic fossils around (I mention no names, of course), the relevance, punchiness and general tone of the blog does seem to have taken a turn for the better.

    Whereas egomaniacs and those interested in posturing will of course be unhappy, anyone truly concerned with the true interest (and interests) of this blog can, surely, only welcome this turn of events.

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella!)

    Re: “performance” bonuses for top civil servants : GENUINE QUESTION :

    Assuming that this is not a canard, does anyone happen to know when this started up?

    Last time I looked top civil servants just got a salary and for that it was assumed that they’d do their job properly.

    Was it started for the same reasons as MPs got lavish expenses – a more politically acceptable sort of pay rise?

    Thanks for any info on this.

  • technicolour

    On topic – surely this post should be a letter to the Guardian too? It’s great.

    (Off topic) “genuine question” from H: as opposed to all the other non-genuine ones, you mean? Honestly, I’d rather have Mary back than this crazy crowing. Why don’t you just settle down and participate nicely, I wonder? By the way, you are off topic, something which seems to have exercised you unduly in the past. Surely you are in danger of self-destructing.

  • Mark Golding - Children of Conflict

    Just to be clear. I am a guest of UKCollapseRadio. The show covers local stories and in itself demonstrates an alliance certainly a and friendship to citizen journalism.

    As J Rosenthal said, “The people formerly known as the audience are simply the public made realer, less fictional, more able, less predictable.”

    The people formerly known as the audience are those who were on the receiving end of a media system created to serve propaganda and a corrupt corporate Establishment. Profit soured the cream, with few exceptions ran one way, in a broadcasting pattern, with high entry fees and a few corporations competing to speak very loudly while the rest of the population listened in isolation from one another.

    Those that are mind melded and dissolved into this grisly mainstream media, pushed instead of pulled flimflam by the Guardian and others, I say thank-you, without you we just would not know the urgency of intent to evolve.

    ‘..all zookeepers must take their animals home for the night.’

    Hat tip to UKCollapseRadio – Stand Strong Dudes.

  • lysias

    Bonuses are not allowed for employees of the U.S. federal government, which has already lasted two years or so and looks as if it will continue.

  • lysias

    What I meant to say was:

    Bonuses are not allowed for employees of the U.S. federal government under the current raise freeze, which has already lasted two years or so and looks as if it will continue.

  • Jives


    Don’t try and dress up your sinister stalking of Mary as casual inquiry.

    And who’d know more about shallow,preening ego than you?

    Your mission here has become an embarrassment-probably even to your handlers.

  • Magrat Thatcher

    For much food for thought, many thanks to Craig, Courtenay, Mark, Crab and all the light-shiners.

    For a good laugh thanks to Habbabkuk and team jokers, you brightened my day.

    Goodnight all.

  • Cryptonym

    One thing that struck me during the Thatcherfest was the St. Francis of Assisi speech clips, were all cut drastically short, because immediately she finished her little homily the volume of boos, hisses, and catcalls was tremendous, reverberated around the street, resonated in the microphones and almost blew her bouffant hair-do sideways. The memory hole indeed.

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella!)

    @ Lysias :

    Thank you for that info – from which I gather (correctly?) that the awarding of bonuses to civil servants was also a feature of the US landscape before the current pay freeze.

    Can anyone provide info to my original question about the picture in the UK?

    @ Technicolour :

    Well, I thought I’d label it a genuine question in the hope that I’d get a serious answer. The various unhelpful ‘responses’ (except that from Lysias) seem to demonstrate that this appelation was both necessary and unfruitful.

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