An Apology 363

I owe an apology to all those who are kind enough to subscribe to my blog. I was determined that I would not let my impending trial affect my output, but have been unable to see that through. It is partly because preparation does take up much more time than I had imagined. But it is mostly because I find it hard to put my mind to anything else and really concentrate.

I do not want to give you the impression that I am very worried, or depressed. I am rather angry; a deep, seething anger that keeps breaking into my thoughts. I am rather worried about this. I can with fairness claim to have devoted much of my life to fighting against injustice. I was prepared to sacrifice an extremely prestigious and lucrative career to take a stand against UK complicity in torture, driven largely by empathy for the victims. I have assisted with numerous individual human rights cases and particularly asylum claims, including representing people, without fee, before immigration courts. But I am nonetheless alarmed by how much more viscerally angry I am when the injustice is against myself than when it is against another. I am aware that is very unattractive. This fury at being personally mistreated is disproportionate and quite wrong, and ought not to stop me working. I feel guilty about it.

Among the results is a very annoying writers’ block. I have been intending this last five days to write an article on Barack Obama’s failure while President to tackle institutional racism and societal inequalities in the USA, and relate that to the remarkable fact he paid much less attention to aid to Africa than George W Bush. I enjoy writing most when I am running counter to the prevailing narrative and pointing to inconvenient fact. But the lines of logic refuse to flow, the fascinating asides do not pop up, and then I remember something else I must tell my lawyers.

Please do not worry. I am not sad, and my anger does not manifest itself by being horrible to others; on the contrary, for once I seem to be particularly considerate to my family and appreciative of how fortunate I am. The purpose of this post is to apologise to you, and thank you for your patience. It is not a signal of giving up – I do not intend to wait until after the trial before getting back to normal. Please bear with me.

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363 thoughts on “An Apology

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  • Penguin

    All four police involved in the G Floyd killing have been charged with Murder. None of the five police involved in killing Eric Garner in 2014 were charged. Although the main culprit was sacked in 2019. There seems to be more chance of justice for Black Americans under the Orange man than under Saint Barak of Drone killings. Not that the virtue signalling grovellers appear too grateful, but facts being Chiels and all that.

    Even the thickest of voters in the USA have noticed that the Back to Work Protesters were described as literally killing your Grandmother while the rioters are being encouraged to take to the streets by the same politicians and Leftard commentariat. Joe (shoot them in the legs) Biden won’t have an earthly come November.

  • Col

    You have a great many people across the world behind you right now Craig. Selective Justice is not justice ⚖. We’ll all keep fighting even if you’re caught in the teeth of the monster.

  • Pete

    You’re human Craig. All humans have limitations. No need to apologise at all. I suggest you try using some form of very basic non-religious meditation to mentally disconnect from the situation as much as possible, for five minutes per day in the first instance. Just breathe slowly and stare at a candle flame or a point of reflected light, and as soon as a thought appears let go of it, even if you have to do that 100 times in five minutes. Very simple. The people who will mock this haven’t actually tried it, or at least they’ve not persisted long enough to make it work. It doesn’t change what’s going on around you but from personal experience it can change what’s going on inside you. Looking forward to the Obama article when you do write it. It will be worth waiting for.

  • MrBiz

    Coming from someone who has had the establishment tear my life apart, left my sons with no mother and dealing with serious mental health issues as a result of it all and through no fault of ours, I know exactly how you feel Craig. It surely does bring the rage of god within you, more so when you’ve personally always tried to be a good person and help others. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope we both can find justice one day. Best wishes.

  • 566

    How’s your love of immigration working out now Mr Murray? your friends are torching the place and cracking skulls and murdering people. The reason they were imported by the Khazar slime. Importing mindless thugs was always a security issue. And here we have the evidence. BLM, but not a white christian girl nearly decapitated. Stupid white people forced to apologise for something that has nothing to do with them.

    • Jon

      Is your comment to change minds, 566? I doubt you will do it that way.

      I expect Craig is still pro-immigration, and I am too. We’re proud to be anti-racists.

    • glenn_uk

      Where do you get your information from, 566?

      Just curious, because it is not based on truth or reality. In fact, it’s the precise opposite. I’m sure you wouldn’t knowingly tell untruths, so where do you get it from?

    • Roger Ewen

      Very interesting. I understand khazar destruction of societies to which you relate.
      But you attempt to poison Mr Murray’s words which contains nothing but humanity and love for his fellow man. You miss the point with your bitterness. Please grow and raise yourself from lower levels.

  • Victor Bulmer-Thomas

    Craig. I quite understand. To be honest, I was surprised by how much you did write even after the charge against you was first brought. Under similar circumstances, I doubt if I would have been able to write anything. Victor

  • Adelaide Raimundo

    Honestly you are worth your weight in gold and those that seek and value your insight and thoughts on current affairs, as I do, completely understand your mind will be elsewhere at the moment and want nothing more than to see you vindicated. Please don’t feel guilty, you have our full support.

  • Lorna Campbell

    No requirement to apologize; it’s perfectly understandable. It angers me, too, because you stipulated in your blogs that you did not wish to identify the women involved, yet you are facing prosecution. I know I differ from most, and going against the grain, in saying that I do not believe any of the journalists involved, including your good self, had the necessary mens rea (intent) to identify the women. Anyone writing about and around the trial would have faced enormous difficulties in trying not to identify them to those already in the know, and I would imagine that those not in the know would be none the wiser. No one was overtly or intentionally identified, in my opinion, by any journalist, and the Gordon Jackson affair was probably a sting of some sort, possibly originating with a newspaper, or something darker. Something is going on in Scotland that is decidedly unsavoury, with high-profile independence figures seemingly being singled out. That smacks to me of something way beyond the reach of the corridors of Holyrood alone, but who knows? Certainly, independence appears to be taking a kicking from that quarter, and we see some of the Scottish MPs going back to Westminster like obedient poodles.

  • RogerDodger

    Under the circumstances, an apology seems hardly necessary. But I understand your frustration at this obstacle to your work, and wish you all the best in overcoming it.

  • David Gamble

    You are still a fine example of a fighter for justice. Now you take care of yourself . You have one object now. Health and freedom.

  • Squeeth

    Dear Craig, there’s nothing to apologise for; first things first. I was suspended for three months in the early 1990s and squirmed with anxiety for the summer while everyone else had a lovely time on holiday. It is a tactic to keep you waiting; you can deal with this by being anxious, fearful, fatalistic or play it cool, like Erving Goffman said. By the time of my fourth suspension, it was a nice month off. ;O) I suggest that you try to enjoy the moment, keep work on your defence to the shortest time per day and then try to forget about it. I assume there is an appeal available?

    If the verdict can be appealed, the hearing is really there to get you to show your hand, to make it easier to rig it. If they bombard you with numbers, they think that quantitative analysis will make their case, if it’s qualitative then you are being tried as a witch, which means that they know that they have no case. If your nerves are playing up, I suggest a megadeath curry, it’ll give you something that really matters to worry about.

  • Wildsilver

    Hey Craig.
    Seems to me the threat targeted at you is proportional to the effect you are having.
    Shining your light into the belly of the beast.
    You & loved ones matter!
    Tread lightly & stay well.

  • Pats Nielsen

    No apology required – there is such a thing as justifiable anger and you are entitled to that.
    Please take care of yourself – you are needed more than ever in this world.

  • Nickle101

    Dear Craig,

    Please channel your anger to mount the best defense possible.

    Though you are on the firing line, you know well this case is more than just about you; you are defending us all when confronting this injustice.

    Good luck.

  • Liz

    You are only human Craig, and it is natural to feel more angry when something impacts you directly. Don’t feel bad about it. As to the blog, I think most people would completely understand that it is difficult to write on other issues at this time.

  • jim

    All the best to you Craig, hard NOT to be angry with everything that is going on. Don’t let the bastards get you down!!

  • Scozzie

    I’m glad you’re angry! I would be very concerned if you were feeling a sense of helplessness – so use this anger to your advantage. Anger doesn’t always have to be destructive, it can give you determination and energy. Channel it to fight this injustice. I would be happy for you to take a break from your writing to fully concentrate on your case, as I’m sure others would too.
    We’re all behind you.

  • Gary Sinclair

    No need whatsoever to apologise but very considerate of you nonetheless.
    Try to maintain good spirits through contact with your family & keep fighting the good fight. ?

  • Jon+Musgrave

    Happy to continue paying and happy to wait until you can clear your name from the show-trial you have been threatened with.

  • Mochyn69

    Never fear, Craig.

    Keep doing what you’re doing and focus on defending yourself against the ‘forces of the crown’!

    There are a lot of people who are feeling helpless and unrepresented at the moment in the face of this toxic toraidh dictatorship.

    Best wishes from occupied Wales!

    • glenn_uk

      You feel we’re occupied too? I am deeply unimpressed with the dictatorial nature of our First Minister, his shifting rules and how utterly stupid many of them are.

  • AlanG

    Please don’t apologise Craig! Your response to the threats against you is entirely rational and actually speaks well for your continuing exercise of the best human qualities.

  • Ian T-W

    No need to apologize. I subscribe to your blog not for the quantity of writing, but rather the quality. I’ve seldom been disappointed, and am not so now.

  • Bernice Jervis

    Mr Murray, you are a very good man and your work is appreciated so much; I hope you know this. Your anger is justified and your resilience is to be admired.

  • mary-lou

    bearing with you. no apologies necessary, just be yourself (that’s what we sub’d for).

  • Dooley

    You are a beacon of hope in this pile of human sewage.We should be apologising to you for what you are going through.We are extremely lucky to have you.
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  • Michael Westcombe

    Keep fighting the good fight. Entirely normal.

    Love from me.
    Michael x

  • Hugh Mckee

    Craig, I’ve actually been enjoying the break.

    A bit of respite needed. I’ve found I have limited emotional and intellectual bandwidth these days. Or my tank is just empty at the moment. I haven’t just been unable to respond to asinine stuff on Twitter, I’ve struggled to even support the regular good guys and my mind drifts at paragraph two of anything worth reading. And I have got to the end of what I think was the zillionth series of Bosch. Things can only get better from here as I slowly regain the capacity to face real-life’s absurdities and atrocities.

    Plenty opportunities ahead that are probably better not rushed at. Just future pleasures to be relished and shared and I am happy to wait.


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