Russia dies laughing


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  • #86922 Reply
    M.J.
    Guest

    This is intended for jokes based on those made in the former Soviet Union which may expose both the undesirability of dictatorship and boost the fight for democracy in Ukraine at this time.

    A Russian officer is standing at the door to the barracks. A drunken soldier approaches, seeing double. “Sirs, may I go past?” “Okay, ” hiccups the officer, “but go one at a time..”

    Слава Україні!

    #86991 Reply
    Tatyana
    Guest

    Do you mind some Russian humor in your topic, M.J.?

    #87005 Reply
    ET
    Guest

    Perhaps I’d find it funny if I could understand Russian Tatyana but I did laugh at myself checking my phone wasn’t close to dying. 😀

    #87006 Reply
    Tatyana
    Guest

    ET
    sorry for that sound! I left it as it is, because I was too lazy to re-record this video. I’m not a singer and such vocalizations are quite difficult for me.
    This is a remake of a popular patriotic song. The words are:

    “How many sanctions are yet to come? Tell me Cuckoo, sing to me.
    We are now outcasts of the EU.
    Should we lie down and cry?
    Or should we turn to booze?
    To booze!
    Hey EU, look at me,
    My palm turns into a middle finger gesture.
    No ruble – no gas.
    That’s it.”

    #87008 Reply
    Ingwe
    Guest

    @Tatyana-great to see (and hear you). I haven’t seen many posts from you recently on this forum and hoped you were ok.
    I’ve not visited or posted for ages for various reasons not least because of a noticeable increase in anti- Russian posts. Looking forward to the time when sanity prevails.

    #88172 Reply
    Demeter
    Guest

    1.Two policemen are walking down the street in Soviet Russia, when they spot a guy standing next to the local Party Headquarters holding a paintbrush. On the wall, he’s just written “The government is run by idiots!”. The first policeman pulls out a pair of handcuffs and asks the second, “Shall we arrest him for vandalizing public property, or for divulging state secrets?”.

    2.A man is out buying bread in Soviet Russia
    When he sees that the bakery is out of flour, he shouts:

    “Damn this country, we are so poor, I haven’t been able to get a loaf of bread in days”

    A policeman hears that and approaches the man.

    “Stop saying things like that or…” the policeman says as he uses his fingers to form a gun, points it toward the man and says “Bang!”

    The man is stunned and walks home.

    The wife sees that the man is shocked and asks:

    “What happened? Did we run out of flour again?”

    The man weakly replies:

    “Not only that, it appears that we also ran out of bullets!”

    3.In Soviet Russia…
    A man asks a Russian: What nationality were Adam and Eve?
    The Russian replies: Soviet of course!
    The man asks: How do you know?
    To which the Russian replies: Well they were both naked, had only an apple to eat, and thought they were in paradise.

    4.In Soviet Russia, pessimist says “things couldn’t possibly possibly get any worse”…
    Russian optimist says “Yes they can!!!”

    5.In Soviet Russia, the government regulates the pharmaceutical industry.
    In America, the pharmaceutical industry regulates the government.

    I love the Russian sense of humour, own a 1980’s copy of the book called Russia Dies Laughing, some of the best gallows humour I’ve ever seen.

    #88192 Reply
    glenn_nl
    Guest

    This is one I liked…

    A man meets with an accident. An ambulance shows up, put him on a stretcher, and sets off.

    A short while later, the injured man voices his concern:

    “Ambulance driver – surely this isn’t the way to the hospital?”

    “Da”, says the driver. “We are on our way to the morgue.”

    “But I’m not dead!” the patient protests.

    “We’re not there yet”, the driver replies.

    #88215 Reply
    Demeter
    Guest

    Really made me laugh Glenn, know this is meant to be a Soviet humour thread, which is clever humour like u posted. Maybe M.J will allow some expansion while keeping the theme.

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