The Gordon and Dougie Show 420

Gordon Brown and wee Dougie Alexander once bestrode the world, bombing much of it. Now these mighty egos are confined within Elderslie Village Hall.


The problem is, the average member of the population does not have a high opinion of the dynamic duo. So it is essential that they are kept away from average people, and instead paraded only before vetted audiences of Labour activists. There are not very many of those; so the venues are tiny, with a small number of carefully bunched people holding silly placards, photographed by a compliant media only from carefully prepared angles.

Now I plunge happily into politically incorrect ground. As normal people have abandoned it and Labour has come down to the core of its core support, it is truly striking how remarkably ugly its hardcore activists are. I don’t mean that in any metaphorical sense. I mean that they are an aesthetic disaster. It is not a product of poverty, as the core support are all well employed as research assistants or doing pretendy youth work jobs for Labour councils. Other parties do not have such challenging physiognomy. It is very seldom you can look at a room and say Gordon Brown is one of the best looking people there. Perhaps Blair’s crimes have been written on the faces of all the complicit.

Douglas Alexander not only facilitated the use of Diego Garcia for torture and extraordinary rendition, in an act of extreme hypocrisy the evil little shit also declared a “marine conservation area” around it. In the 1960’s Britain forcibly deported the entire population of the islands to make way for the US Air Base. Faced with a continual political and legal fight for them to return, Alexander sought to make it impossible with his “marine conservation area”. There is nobody who better represents Scottish Labour’s loss of its soul than Alexander. If Mhairi beats him I shall be extremely happy.

420 thoughts on “The Gordon and Dougie Show

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  • Iain Orr

    Craig: I am one with you in deploring the treatment of the Chagossians by successive governments. However, the one that cynically – and, as we now know, in contravention of the UN Convention on the Law of the Sea (UNCLOS) – declared the Chagos Marine Protected Area on 1 April 2010, was the expiring Brown government. The policy decision in the FCO was taken by David Miliband, who saw it as a way of securing for himself a personal and completely undeserved “green legacy”. As we also know from a Wikileaked cable from the US Embassy in London, the FCO’s Director Overseas Territories, Colin Roberts (now Governor of the Falkland Islands) told US officials that one great advantage of the MPA would be to create a further hurdle to any resettlement by the Chagossians in the islands from which they had been exiled.

    I have no doubt that Douglas Alexander, then in charge of DfID, was fully supportive of David Miliband. However, let’s not dilute the deserved infamy of the elder Miliband.

  • DtP

    It’s upsetting how Labour massively over-promote people based wholly on loyalty rather than ability. When wee doogie speaks you can tell the lad genuinely doesn’t give a toss about whatever drivel he’s been expected to explain. It’s rather scary.

  • John Goss

    “If Mhairi beats him I shall be extremely happy.”

    Me too. Mhairi Black has youth on her side and has not had time to become corrupted by the establishment. In fact I guess nearly all Old Labour from the days when it used to be an opposition party wish her the same.

    I’ve no time for torturers or the supporters of torture. There are still plenty in New Labour who have not condemned it. There has been talk recently that Diego Garcia might be handed back to Mauritius on account of it being acquired illegally. The Islanders probably have less chance of returning than the Chilcot Inquiry has of seeing the light of day. They’ve ditched the Gibson Inquiry to cover up their complicity in torture. Yes I dearly hope the SNP win and Alexander goes.

  • Lance Vance

    If the patronising, condescending, mealy mouthed scots cunts Alexander, Alexander and especially that streak of stale fuckin piss Murphy lose there seats, then I’d consider that a good election result- whatever the result!!

  • Republicofscotland

    Yes indeed Craig according to the latest Ashcroft Poll,Mhairi Black is 11 points ahead of wee Dougie.

    I read somewhere that Jim Sillars is Mhairi’s mentor,she’s only 20 but she’s been a SNP member since 2011.

    Wee Dougie has been promised a cabinet position in a Labour government if Labour are triumphant,he’s also Labour’s campaign manager,Ed Miliband must see him as a key figure,and that’s why the messiah (Brown) has been wheeled out.

    I do hope wee Dougie suffers a Portillo Moment.

  • Resident Dissident

    “I mean that they are an aesthetic disaster.”

    From Craig the oil painting!

  • Resident Dissident


    When you start using Damian McBride as a source you really should think about giving up.

  • Mary

    Also in need of mouthwash are Murdoch and the Sun editor. They have a thoroughly nasty piece on Nicola Sturgeon entitled The Scotweiler.

    As the Sun has a paywall (unbelievable that anyone pays for it) here is the version on Medialens. Their editors have access to Lexis Nexis.


    Murdoch’s father’s perspective of Gallipoli is kindly provided by the BBC on BBC2 at 8.30 tonight.

    Gallipoli:When Murdoch Went to War

  • John Spencer-Davis

    Resident Dissident
    25/04/2015 7:28pm

    Bloody hell.

    If Eric Ollerenshaw is the second sexiest male MP and the twelfth sexiest MP in the HoC overall then there’s hope for all of us. Even me.

    On the other hand, perhaps it’s a case of “God help the rest…”

    Kind regards,


  • Republicofscotland

    “When you start using Damian McBride as a source you really should think about giving up.”


    If I ever star taking your advice,that’s when I know it’s time to give up.

  • Abe Rene

    There is a well known saying that grace beautifies while sin disfigures, though I believe that applies to the soul rather than the body. So tell us Craig, in which party or group in your own is the most pulchritude to be found? Sam Cam looks quite nice to me, likewise Miriam Clegg. 🙂

  • John Goss


    When you start using Damian McBride as a source you really should think about giving up.”

    You’ve got a nerve after the last thread. Thank God this one came along to save you RD.

  • lysias

    In the latest FT projection, Labour + SNP + Plaid Cymru + SDLP + Greens back down to 422, a bit short of a majority.

  • Resident Dissident


    I’m prepared to deal with your slurs wherever they are Dross – you called Theresa May a fascist and Karimov and Putin are now best of mates.

  • Habbabkuk (la vita è bella)

    “Gordon Brown and wee Dougie Alexander once bestrode the world, bombing much of it.”


    A slight exaggeration on both counts, surely?

  • Habbabkuk (la vita è bella)

    “ is truly striking how remarkably ugly its (ie, Labour’s)hardcore activists are.”


    Have you been cribbing from George Orwell, who wrote in one of his essays (I forget which) something along the lines of “you can tell what’s wring with Socialism by looking at its women”?

  • Don

    Elderslie…these two unionist clowns are campaigning in Elderslie?
    Is this not the birthplace of Sir William Wallace, our most famous freedom fighter alongside Andrew Murray and The Bruce?…for goodness sake someone tell me I am wrong

  • Ba'al Zevul

    Sam Cam looks quite nice to me…

    An expression of utter vapidity allied with access to expensive aids to beauty can indeed enhance the illusion of loveliness. Whether this equates to beauty would be a matter for semanticists, however.

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