The Gospel According To May 402

Thanks @ROBN1980 for this illustration

On their return the apostles told him all that they had done. And he took them and withdrew apart to a town called Bethseda.
When the crowds learned it, they followed him, and he welcomed them and spoke to them of the kingdom of God and cured those who had need of healing.
Now the day began to wear away, and the twelve came and said to him, Lord the people are hungry.
Now Jesus turned to them and said “There are many complex reasons why people are hungry. The best way out of poverty is for them to get a job. Now bugger off while I eat these five loaves and two fishes.”
Now one amongst the faithful, a man named Marr, arose and said, “Lord, many of them do have a job, and yet they are still hungry. Behold, even here are hungry nurses”.
And the people were sore perplexed.
And Jesus looked upon the nurses and he said “Physicians, heal thyselves. Ha! See what I did there? Now bugger off and let me eat these loaves and fishes.”
Upon having refreshed himself with the loaves and fishes, Jesus turned to the text of his authorised biography.
On reading the story of his birth, Jesus called Luke and said unto him “Thou art my beloved biographer, in whom I am well pleased”.
“Verily, this story of my birth is well written. It will sell for many years. The Nativity will have a strong stable readership. Ha! See what I did there?”
“Now clear off and give me some peace, I have to send a letter to Tim Farron upon the evils of sodomy.”

Explanatory note: On the Marr programme today, Theresa May responded to an Andrew Marr question about nurses having to use foodbanks, having suffered a 14% wage cut since 2010. May, a strongly professed Christian, replied “there are many complex reasons why people use foodbanks” and “the best way out of poverty is to get a job.”

One Tory line which May used on both Marr and Peston, I have seen trotted out by the media themselves repeatedly in the last few days. May stated that under the Tories, the wealthiest 1% of taxpayers pay a higher proportion of taxes than ever under Labour. Adam Boulton was pushing this line on Sky News recently, using the figure that the wealthiest 1% pay 29% of income tax.

I have seen nobody make the obvious rejoinder. Under the Tories the wealthiest 1% have the greatest percentage of national income in modern political history. That is why they pay more tax. But due to tax avoidance, it remains the case that the wealthiest pay a lower percentage of their income in tax than any other group. There is no chance that this obvious reply will be given to Theresa May by an interviewer, or that Adam Boulton will start proclaiming it on the airwaves.

The above post is designed to highlight the hypocrisy of May and her unchristian attitudes. It in no way intends to insult the teachings of Jesus; rather the opposite.

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402 thoughts on “The Gospel According To May

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  • Roger Alexander

    Money is created out of thin air and given to the central banks to lend at interest. If Corbyn has his way money will be given to the real wealth creators and that wealth will belong to everyone to be administered by the elected representatives. The only problem with this is that the financial services will be out of work and have to rely on social housing and benefits……. we can’t have that can we?

    • Salford Lad

      Roger not quire correct. The Govt creates money, notes and coin under the Act of 1844. This cash is only 3% of the money/credit in circulation. Govt delivers this cash to the High St banks and charges a Seignorage charge for its use.
      The private banks circumvent this Law by the use of credit card,cheque books and bank drafts and loans.
      Banks do not create money ,they create credit. This is done by a simple accounting trick whenever they make a loan.
      The loan is credited to the borrower by a positive amount in his account.The bank enters an equal but negative amount in their account. This balances out to zero.
      The borrower repays the loan and extinguishes the Banks negative amount. The interest paid is the banks profit on credit created from thin air.
      Central banks are required to keep this chicanery balanced and the fraud glossed over .

    • Kerch'ee Kerch'ee Coup

      It was only in 1850 that the Bank of England Act was extended to Scotland(and Berwick on T.) In the 100 years or so before that, Scotland’s GNPper capita rose from half to the same as that of England and Wales.During that tinme the Scottish banks were free to issue their own notes without a central bank., so-called’ free banking’, leading to complaints from competitors south of the border.
      Certainly , I would hope that studies are being undertaken on the optimal form a Scottish currency should take rather than adopting a UK- pound link like the Free State or opting for the euro or a euro link. Setting up a Scottish cyber currency with each resident credited with,say, five or so negotiable units(bitcoin now over 1300 dollars)r would be another pole-vaulting option.

      • Bayard

        It was only in 1844, six years before, that the Bank Charter Act restricted the issuing of banknotes in England and Wales. English banks continued to issue their own notes until 1921. Scottish banks still do.

  • RobG

    Just from reading some of the comments on this thread, I would say that it’s obvious that the Tories will be slaughtered in this election.

    As for those who attack me, I don’t mind that, either.

    None of you have a leg to stand on, and you know it.

  • Herbie


    Must be one of those Elect type Christians.

    Your station is your virtue.

    Complete heresy.

    Nietzsche rather than Christ.

      • glenn

        It’s rather hard to take anyone seriously, when they take any religious delusion as literal truth.

          • Resident Dissident

            The problem is that when it comes to discovering the wonders of the natural world the scientists appear to be making a rather better fist of it than the religious. I’m in the process of reading Siddharta Mukherjee’s book the Gene and I’m afraid religion appears to have acted to stop/delay scientific progress at many stages with very little encouragement in the other direction.

    • Zeke

      Of course, one can easily imagine May drinking her “Saviour’s” blood.

  • Sharp Ears

    At least, she will never match Blair’s crime record.

    Avoid Sky News. They have been plugging Blair by showing excerpts of his interview with Adam Boulton. ’20 years on from his 1997 landslide’. Full version coming up.

    Things are going to get better. Not.

    • Anon1

      “Avoid Sky News”

      How about you set an example, Mary, by seeing if you can go for a day without informing us of what is happening on Sky News?

        • Sharp Ears

          PS I thought you would be interested in seeing Blair who is one of your heroes presumably for slaughtering so many people with brown skin.

          Silly question but will you be out celebrating International Workers’ Day or are you on duty here all day?

          The UK is one of a few countries that does not recognize the Day.

          • Anon1

            Thankfully we don’t celebrate that commie wankfest here. It is a religious holiday held in honour of your namesake, or a day of lost earnings as we call it in Anon1 towers.

          • fred

            We also celebrate today because it was on the 1st of May 1707 that the Act of the Union took effect and the parliaments of England and Scotland united.

          • Bayard

            “or a day of lost earnings as we call it in Anon1 towers.”

            I take it you don’t believe that people should take holidays.

          • Muscleguy

            @Fred, a stichup whereby the great and good had their pockets filled with gold, two regiments of foot and two of dragoons were poised on the border to invade and ravage if it were not passed and the populace, who were of course not consulted, rioted for several days in many places.

            The polls they do move post the shameful snap election and Labour’s craven capitulation in Westminster. Yes does march on and on with much Brexit realpolitik to come to drive ever more to our side.

            The Union does hang on a shoogly peg, its plans gang aft agley.

          • Anon1

            I see that Uncle Joe once again featured prominently on the banners of the May Day marchers today. Just the 50 million dead for that particular champion of the workers.

          • fred

            “its plans gang aft agley.”

            Be Britain still to Britain true,
            Amang ourselves united;
            For never but by British hands
            Maun British wrangs be righted!

  • Anon1

    A student describing herself as a “passionate campaigner for LGBT rights” asked a Tory MP, Andrew Turner, if he would be attending a Gay Pride march on the Isle of Wight. He answered “No” because he believes homosexuality is “wrong”. The student, Esther Poucher, told the Guardian:

    “At this answer, I had to leave. It’s terrifying that in this age and point in our development as a society, there are still people that can’t care enough about a person’s wellbeing to just accept who they are. And the most terrifying thing is that we as an island consistently vote him in to represent us.”

    Mr Turner has been forced to stand down from his job.

    I would have to agree with the majority of commenters here that the UK is verging on becoming a fascist state, if it isn’t already.

    • Hmmm

      Well said. Having someone with such insane ideas in a position of power is completely reflective of a fascist state.

      • Anon1

        He ought to be entitled to his opinion. I see that the left are actually calling him the bigot.

        Anyway it’s not as if he said anything truly potty like Nagasaki and Hiroshima never happened. 🙂

        • Hmmm

          I would say it is insane to say home sensuality is wrong. Literally his mental health has to be questioned. Pointing out that Hiroshima and Nagasaki exhibit all the hallmarks of a conventional bombing raid is in no way “potty”. If it were you’d easily provide conclusive evidence. Which you haven’t and you won’t because you cannot. Leave it to a grown up sunshine. Habbabkuk can have a try for you, if you ask him nicely.

          • Hmmm

            Stupid fat fingers. Saying homosexuality is wrong is NOT an opinion. It is a mental illness to think that way. Politicians should provide evidence if they are against something. The Bible is not evidence I’m afraid.

          • MJ

            What sort of ‘evidence’ would be acceptable to you? A feeble video on YouTube?

          • Hmmm

            Any that can be easily proved. By all means make a feeble video yourself. Point me in some good debunking direction. The evidence suggests, as the expert Seversky suggests, that atomic weapons are not very effective. What expert can you point to?

        • Bayard

          “He ought to be entitled to his opinion.”
          Indeed he should. But he is not entitled not to have that opinion criticised. Saying homosexuality is wrong is like saying having a brown skin is wrong, or blue eyes or large feet. Either he thinks that exhibiting traits over which you have no control is wrong, which is plainly stupid, or he thinks that homosexuality is a choice, which is demonstrably ignorant. I appreciate that, in the cult of the Great Leader, having followers who are stupid or ignorant is probably an advantage, so I am surprised if the Tories kicked him out for being so.

          • John Spencer-Davis

            There’s nothing to prevent Mr Turner standing as an independent in the General Election. I am strongly in favour of freedom of speech for views I find abhorrent, therefore I am generally against laws against hate speech and the like. You never know who’ll be next.

            If Mr Turner thinks homosexuality is wrong and dangerous to society he should be entitled to express his views and stand for Parliament expressing them. Best reaction is to disagree reasonably with him and be amused at what a reactionary pillock he must be.

          • Hmmm

            Yes John, but he should provide evidence for his claim. It is hate speech and he should be free to spout that because?

          • John Spencer-Davis

            Because it is more dangerous to restrict freedom of speech than to permit it. I do not want a government to tell me what I can hear or what I can say.

    • Soothmoother

      I’d imagine the majority of practising Christians and Muslims believe homosexuality is wrong. Are they all fascists?

      • Hmmm

        Yes, either that or they have mental health issues. Christians that I know have, for the most part, expressed gods love for homosexuality tbf. Still weird if you ask me!

  • Hmmm

    JC, had a beard, went around preaching about how we should treat people better, was stabbed in the back by some of his own team. The authorities were desperate to crucify him…. I can see why May believes in this stuff.

    • Anon1

      For lo it was written in the latest ICM poll on the feast day of the Virgin Mary that he was still polling abysmal figures, so his followers did smite the pollsters and calleth them the followers of Zion and takers of the Tory silver and verily they went into the election believing their leader would rise again, only to witness him crucified by the electorate on judgement day for his love of the wicked ways of Hamas and Hezbollah and the IRA and his strange belief in making loaves and fishes out of the thin air.

    • Laguerre

      Conventional American incomprehension of what goes on in Europe. And then they tell us that we Europeans don’t understand anything about US politics.

  • James Dickenson

    In the UK, in 2015-16, the bottom 10% of households had an average gross income of £10,992 and payed, on average, £4,662 {42.05%} in direct and indirect taxes.
    {The net ‘cost’ of benefits is much lower than the gross ‘cost’ of benefits?}

    In the UK, in 2015-16, the top 10% of households had an average gross income of £110,643 and payed, on average, £37,897 {34.25%} in direct and indirect taxes.
    Your download options
    Financial year ending 2016

    • glenn_uk

      That’s some progressive taxation we have there. I’ll stick my neck out and bet the top 0.03% pay a heck of a lot less than 34.25% in tax – probably somewhere between 0 and 5%.

  • Dave

    If someone says they’re a Christian, are they a Christian? May says as a Christian she is prepared to push the button, whereas Christian CND say abolish nuclear weapons! And if they’re not, can any criticism of them be deemed anti-Christian in the singular or plural? Or can the professed Christian claim to be the victim of anti-Christian-ism, even if they’re words and actions are perceived to be non-Christian by anyone? This matters because if being a professed Christian is a “protected characteristic”, protected by “Hate Crime” legislation, how can you criticise a professed Christian, real or imagined, without having your collar felt or face scurrilous accusations of “anti-Christian-ism” or something similar, by those with the influence to paint you black across the MSM?

    • Bayard

      It’s plainly obvious that you can be a Christian and not be christian. Not following all the teachings of your chosen deity/prophet/guru/teacher doesn’t exclude you from your religion, it just makes you a bad example of that particular faith.

      • Dave

        So an atheist who promotes God, can still claim to be an atheist, but just not a good atheist? My point is, if someone professes to have an identity that’s protected in law as a “protected characteristic”, should they be entitled to that protection, or conversely should someone be prosecuted for “hate crime” towards it, if those claiming the protection are clearly not what they profess to be.

        For example both Bush and Blair profess to be Christian and prayed together before destroying Iraq. And Blair a professed Anglican, converted and became a Catholic Christian, with the blessing of the Pope, but immediately said the Catholic Church should reform its views on homosexuality along Anglican lines. Even if Blair is a Christian was his conversion to Catholicism genuine, or was it done to improve his chances of becoming EU President by wooing the right-wing Catholic parties with his professed new identity? But if criticizing Christians is/was a “hate crime” how could this be mentioned without fear of falling foul of the law?

        • Lucius Driftwood

          It is of course possible to be a christian and yet not a disciple of Christ. Jesus Himself said a good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. How do you recognize a disciple of Christ? By their fruit.

    • John Spencer-Davis

      That is one of the chief difficulties regarding religious faith. If person X says that a “just war” is consonant with the Christian faith, and that they have prayed about it and they are reconciled with God and their conscience, and person Y, also a Christian says that all war is morally wrong, and that they have prayed about it and they are reconciled with God and their conscience, at least one of them must be wrong, since they cannot both be right. What is an objective observer to make of this?

      • Babushka

        To each is given a conscience – to know with
        The intention of Christ for His disciples is not that they become clones, but rather develop all their own unique gifts, talents etc in the image of God, and thus become a fully authentic human being, as created by God.

        Objective observer? Lol
        I watched a very moving video yesterday, of a British Sikh delivering aid to camps in ravaged Iraq. I wept with the mothers and children who had escaped unspeakable brutalities and losses. I’m a Christian living in Australia and intend to donate to the fund that does this precious work. I found the video by following a reference left on this comment board by our very own Loony. Thank You Loony ?

        • John Spencer-Davis

          Yes, but either a just war is morally right, or it is not. I do not believe that you can argue that for one person God satisfies them that a just war is morally right, and for another person God satisfies them that all war is wrong, and that each is in some mysterious way is correct. I deliberately chose this example, firstly because distinguishing the correct belief may in fact cause thousands, tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of human beings to live or die. It is an important belief to get right. Secondly, because it exactly permits the judgement of an objective observer without getting into whether such an observer is a Christian or not, because different Christians have different beliefs about the matter. I don’t think your comment advances the issue much, if at all.

          • Babushka

            What are you prepared to do in order to defend yourself, family, community etc?
            What is your place, the purpose of your life on this planet?
            Please do not think I’m asking for answers- these are questions we must each answer for ourselves.
            I was married at 19, and struggled with these very issues,
            for 27 years,to an army officer. I and our four beautiful children were “sacrificed”to the demands of his service career.
            It is all very complex and challenging- I would have succumbed to illness and despair were it not for the patient ministrations of a spiritual director who asked me questions without ever expecting answers. I had to find my own answers in my own time and way, but God and His word were my guides.
            I think one of the biggest Lessons for me, is not to Judge others, just to humbly be what I am created to be.

          • John Spencer-Davis

            I respect your words. but they do not really answer the question I have posed, I think.

            I will try once more.

            You have reached inside yourself and walked in step with God and you have found your own answers. At the moment I am not much concerned with what those answers are, merely that you have found them.

            A thought experiment. You are the Archbishop of Canterbury, and you have done the same thing, found your own answers. You are in a position to give or withhold your imprimatur regarding the first Gulf War, the assault on and ground invasion against the Iraqi forces occupying Kuwait. You can give your spiritual blessing to the UK forces, and say that their cause is just, or you can say that it is wrong to injure and kill other human beings, and they should withdraw and the Government should pursue peaceful means.

            Are you able to see and understand that the position you take is important for the living and dying of other human beings, and that there cannot be two ways about it – either blessing the forces is a right thing to do in God’s eyes, or it is not? And if you believe in one way, no matter how strongly you think you have God’s approval, you are going to be mistaken, and if you believe in the other way, your belief is spiritually justified?

            What is an objective observer to make of this situation? What would you do, and how would you know that you were not mistaken, as. evidently, someone who came to a different conclusion to you would be mistaken? Can you see the problem? (I’m not asking you to tell me what you would do. I’m asking you to understand that people can be quite certain that they have God’s approval, and yet they can – must – be profoundly mistaken. Because if their decision was not the one you would make, then quite obviously they must be mistaken.)

            Incidentally, the Archbishop of Canterbury blessed the invading forces and said that the first Gulf War was a just war.

  • reel guid

    Scottish Labour figures all tweeting nostalgically for the anniversary of the New Labour election win 20 years ago. They can have their nostalgia.

    Labour are allowing the Tories to drag Scotland out the EU with all that entails in loss of jobs and reduction in workers’ rights. Nuclear instead of renewables. The promotion of insular attitudes. To regress instead of progress

    Labour are saying Scottish democracy doesn’t matter one bit. 62% of Scottish voters are to be ignored so as not to stop hard brexit taking hold of Scotland. A majority in Holyrood for indyref2 is to be ignored so we can all settle down to strong right wing Tory legislation no longer ameliorated or cushioned by EU safeguards.

    Labour would prefer to keep Scotland Tory run than admit that they are on the wrong side over self government.

    Things can only get better said Labour in 1997. They haven’t got better. Things will only get worse with hard brexit Toryism. But Scottish Labour want you to join them in going along with the Tories new slogan of “We said no and we mean it”.

      • reel guid

        Do you prefer hard right Tory government for Scotland instead of independence?

        • fred

          I will be voting Liberal.

          The SNP candidate they elected last time let us down, let our health service down, let young mothers down, let our children down, let transport down all because he is obsessed with just one thing and one thing only.

          I’ll be voting for someone who would fight to keep the only maternity unit for 100 miles open.

          • fred

            I’ve never voted Conservative in my life but I would vote Conservative if it were the best chance of beating the SNP.

          • defo

            “I will be voting Liberal”
            Well,with wee willie at the helm, at least you’ll not have to travel far for a bouncy castle.

      • defo

        Ah, the P&J. No agenda with them straight up guys.
        What a coincidence. Saw your comment Fred, and Ravi Shankar came on You tube shuffley thing.
        You managed to have children ? Meh, show us the birth certificate.

        • fred

          “You managed to have children ? Meh, show us the birth certificate.”

          This is another example of the harassment and intimidation the SNP are famous for.

          State the facts about the politics and receive a barrage of personal abuse from the Cybernats.

          How can anyone vote for this party of thugs and bullies?

          • michael norton

            Yes Fred, it makes you wonder, why don’t the moderators remove the S. N. P. hate speech on this blog?

    • nevermind

      reel guid, you at first used the correct term for your reeling off mistakes and policy blunders, one of the worst was to accept the Tory’s PPI/PFI programme, but then you regressed and called them ‘Labour’, which is not really what they were.

      New labour were Tory’s in red Coates without the horses, they failed to implement their very own financial reforms because Miranda Tony Blair said we don’t need it the economy was going well in 2006…. After the Tories got back into power new labour stooges shadowed just about every policy they enacted, they helped the Torys to destroy the opposition from within by their backsliding and work against their very own party’s interests.

      • Dave

        Major did initiate PFI but New Labour promoted it extensively as part of the mickey-mouse accounting needed to spend more on public services and join the Euro-currency, both of which were in their 1997 election manifesto. PFI was/is a more expensive way to provide public services, but by calling the funding “private” rather than public spending, it kept public spending within the rules for joining the Euro-currency. Gordon Brown gave this policy a euphemism called his “Golden Rule”, which he had to drop the day before he belatedly nationalised Northern Rock.

        And Tory/George Osborne austerity was/is EU austerity, so when SNP say replace Westminster rule with Brussels rule, they are advocating jumping out of the pan into the fire. It is Brexit that delivers the prospect of ending austerity, which Hammond has partly done by tearing up Osborne’s fiscal plans.

  • Soothmoother

    OK Christians, get down on your knees, pray Bush and Blair style and help sort this mess out please?

    Not only do we take their resources, we also take their skilled workers. The NHS is full of extremely well educated and talented people from Africa and Asia. We’re lucky to have them, but what does that mean for the development of the countries they came from?

    Join Stop The War and vote for the Corbynator (or SNP).

    • Sharp Ears

      Or Jeremy Corbynara, as some naff restaurant has named an item on their menu along with Theresa Maple Soup and Paul Nuttalla Crepe.

  • Sharp Ears

    Meanwhile a certain French female politician is speaking to an adoring crowd amongst whom, and most depressingly. there are young people. Hundreds of Tricolores being waved.

    Strange that we share the same colours on our flag. Ours is 411 years old. Their’s much newer!

    • Michael McNulty

      The colours of the Union Jack [and America’s Old Glory] suggest to me white is the supposed purity of the cause, red is the blood that is spilled and blue is the blood it is spilled for.

    • BadenBrit

      The current Union Jack was adopted in 1801, combining the union flag of Great Britain (Scotland and England) with the red saltire of Ireland as a consequence of the Act of Union of the kingdoms of Great Britain and Ireland.. The French Tricolore was first adopted in 1794 with the French revolution – admittedly with a gap betwen 1815 and 1830.

        • nevermind

          Soon they all will able to design their own flags once the Tory’s have finished with busting the union.

  • nevermind

    whilst we are apparently in purdah when no contracts and court cases can be advanced, this does not apply to the Government and its employment practises.
    All these jobs have been appointed during the last week.

    Department for Education

    Equality and Human Rights Commission – Lord Shinkwin appointed as a new Commissioner.

    Foreign and Commonwealth Office

    Michael Davenport has been appointed Her Majesty’s Ambassador to the State of Kuwait.

    Westminster Foundation for Democracy – Thomas Hughes and Susan Inglish appointed as Independent Governors.

    Department of Health

    NHS Blood and Transport – Millie Banerjee appointed as Chair, replacing John Pattullo in June.

    Department for Culture, Media and Sport

    UK Sport – Lis Astall appointed as Interim Chair until July, when Katherine Grainger will become Chair.

    British Museum – Patricia Cumper, Deryck Maughan and Lord Sassoon reappointed as Trustees.

    National Portrait Gallery – Andrew Roberts reappointed as Trustee.

    VisitEngland – Sarah Stewart reappointed as Trustee.

    Theatres Trust – Pam Bone, Paul Cartwright, David Ian, Gary Kemp, Richard Johnston and Simon Ricketts appointed to the board.

    British Film Institute – Pete Czernin, Jonathan Ross and Andrea Wong reappointed as board members.

    Arts Council England – Rosemary Squire reappointed as member.

    UK Anti-Doping – John Brewer, Janice Shardlow and Justin Turner have had their terms extended until September.

    Office of Communications – Nick Pollard appointed as member of the board.

    Ministry of Justice

    Youth Justice Board – Alan Wood appointed as a member.

    Legal Services Board – Helen Phillips appointed as Interim Chair; David Eveleigh and Marina Gibbs reappointed to the board.

    HM Treasury

    National Infrastructure Commission – Lord Adonis appointed as Chair and John Armitt as Deputy Chair.

    Department for Work and Pensions

    Health and Safety Executive – Martin Esom appointed as a Non-Executive Director.

    Department for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy

    Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service Council – Jane McNeill, Mike Gooddie, Neil Carberry and Paul Nowak reappointed as members.

    Innovate UK – Gerard Grech, Priya Guha and Simon Devonshire named as Non-Executive Directors.

    Research England – David Sweeney appointed as Executive Chair Designate.

    Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs

    Natural England – Julia Aglionby, Andy Clements, Teresa Dent and Simon Lyster reappointed to the board.

    Non-Ministerial Departments

    Competition and Markets Authority – Robert Stewart appointed as the new representative in Northern Ireland.

    • Sharp Ears

      They’re called place persons Nevermind.

      eg Bannerjee

      Lord Adonis Labour peer. Osborne appointee to National Infrastructure Commission and now reappointed. Powerful. Promoting covering over the Green Belt with housing.

      Lord Shinkwin. His unfortunate disability of brittle bone disease has not hindered him. Visited Israel last year. ‘Visit to Israel and the Palestinian Authority, 18-23 September 2016, with a parliamentary delegation organised by All-Party Britain-Israel Parliamentary Group; travel was funded by Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs.’

      Martin Esom. Health and Safety Executive. YCNMIU. ‘Waltham Forest council has asked us to emphasise that its chief executive Martin Esom’s total pay packet is only £195,000 and not £240,000 as reported by the Guardian last week.’ and that was 2014. He’s still there. I bet the ‘pay packet’ is much larger.

      I won’t go on.

      • Sharp Ears

        Seven weeks until the next HoC sitting. They last sat on 27th April.

        ‘The House of Commons will be in prorogation. The House will next sit on Monday 19 June 2017.’

        • Sharp Ears

          And all these Acts came into being.
          27 April 2017
          Volume 624
          Mr Speaker
          I have to acquaint the House that the House has been to the House of Peers where a Commission under the Great Seal was read, authorising the Royal Assent to the following Acts:
          Finance Act 2017
          Parking Places (Variation of Charges) Act 2017
          Broadcasting (Radio Multiplex Services) Act 2017
          Homelessness Reduction Act 2017
          Intellectual Property (Unjustified Threats) Act 2017
          National Citizen Service Act 2017
          Children and Social Work Act 2017
          Pension Schemes Act 2017
          Preventing and Combating Violence Against Women and Domestic Violence (Ratification of Convention) Act 2017
          Technical and Further Education Act 2017
          Neighbourhood Planning Act 2017
          Bus Services Act 2017
          Criminal Finances Act 2017
          Health Service Medical Supplies (Costs) Act 2017
          Northern Ireland (Ministerial Appointments and Regional Rates) Act 2017
          Local Audit (Public Access to Documents) Act 2017
          Merchant Shipping (Homosexual Conduct) Act 2017
          Guardianship (Missing Persons) Act 2017
          Farriers (Registration) Act 2017
          Higher Education and Research Act 2017
          Digital Economy Act 2017
          Faversham Oyster Fishery Company Act 2017


  • Elizabeth Edwards

    I dislike your parody of Biblical text. It is disappointing that you need to use this to joke about TM’s latest gaffe, since I usually look forward to your posts, and enjoy your writing. This choice of writing cheapens your message in my view, and plays to the lowest common denominator. Please have some respect for those of us who have regard for the Bible.

    • Hmmm

      It’s a parody of May, not the bible. Re-read the text at the bottom of his post. May does far more disservice to the bible than Craig ever could.

    • glenn_uk

      Please have some respect for those of us who have regard for the Bible

      Why? You’ve got no respect for anyone else. All you want to do is ram your version of sky-spook delusions down our throats, force your “values” on us, and bask in your smug superiority that your loving god is going to burn us heathens in hell for all eternity.

      Btw, have you actually _read_ the Bible, particularly the Old Testament? Nasty stuff, really sick, twisted and perverted. You should be ashamed of yourself having filth like that around the place.

      • Anon1

        I agree, Glenn, except to say that in common with almost all of the left, you wouldn’t dare say the same about Islamic beliefs. Political correctness trumps everything, or at least the fear that you’ll be on the receiving end of an assault rifle. Elizabeth is harmless, white, Christian. You are a coward.

        • glenn_uk

          Sure I would, Anon1. Mohammed – if we are to accept the official version – was an appalling child molester. Most of his followers either think he ascended to heaven leaving either his father in law OR his cousin as his rightful heir and successor. This incredibly important distinction is sufficiently grave to cause the hatred that has given rise to wars between countries. Absolutely insane. Just as bad as the distinction between Catholics and Protestants which has caused many a long year of hatred and death in Ireland, for instance.

          The inability or reluctance of Islamic leaders to cut this crap about holy war, martyrdom and jihad against the western devils is causing so much of the world’s current problems. If they cut off at the knees this divisive BS that warmongers like Bush, Blair and now Trump want to foment, just by stating outright that they have no problem on a religious level with western people, the world would be a much better place.

          There is hardly a religion that has not been used for despicable purposes, even Buddhism.

          My view is that good people will be good without religion, but religion is most effective in making otherwise decent people perform evil.

          So screw your crappy (and incorrect!) assumptions, Anon1. An apology would be forthcoming, but only from anyone with the least integrity, so don’t trouble yourself on that account.

    • MJ

      Have to agree with you. Religous texts are there to be parodied but I think they deserve at least to be parodied well. Craig’s effort has (to be generous) a couple of good lines but is schoolboy stuff really.

    • Resident Dissident

      I suspect that there are parodies of atheism in your Church nearly every Sunday. remind us exactly what happens to non believers. Until your Church allows atheists and agnostics to project their non belief and doubt might I suggest that respect and tolerance is a two way street. All sorts of belief are subject to parody here not just those that you hold precious.

  • Trowbridge H. Ford

    I’m back, Craig, a most parochial response to the looming world war which might end up covering the UK with nuclear ash after a Five Eyes assembly well attended by the Yanks in New Zealand regarding regional threats, loony Trump promising a showdown with North Korea’s Kim Jong-un, a new mysterious US satellite being launched to sort out where nuclear tests there might be occurring and destroying them, a most pathetic response when something similar happened off Japan, etc.

    Still hoping to have dinner with the mad POTUS?

    • Anon1

      You do comment here a lot for someone who said they wouldn’t comment here again.

      • Habbabkuk

        Nothing to how often he posts on Squonk’s blog, Anon. He’s practically taken it over.

  • Habbabkuk

    Let’s move to important matters, shall we?

    Do commenters (and in particular those who claim to reside in France) have anything to share with readers on how the two campaigns are going in the 2nd round of the French Presidential?

  • RobG

    Looks like I’ve got to eat my hat again: the MSM have started reporting the riots in Paris today…

    Before a small group started getting violent, the demonstrations were peaceful, and there were a huge number of people out on the streets. Jean-Luc Mélenchon gave one of the most moving speeches I’ve ever seen him make. For those interested I’ll post it with English sub-titles once it appears on the video sites.

    Mélenchon still refuses to endorse Emmanuel Macron.

    We live in interesting times, to put it mildly.

  • Habbabkuk

    “Or Jeremy Corbynara, as some naff restaurant has named an item on their menu ”


    Far from being naff, the name if that dish indicates that the owner has a rather good sense of humour.

    Presumably the reference is to spaghetti carbonara, so let us consider the appropriateness of the ingredients of that excellent dish which borrows the bame of Mr Jeremy Corbyn.

    The pasta – weak, floppy, no spine, all over the place when forked up by the uninitiated

    The sauce:

    fresh cream – a touch of unctuousness
    egg yolk – yellow
    chicken cubes (should be bacon) – to effect reconciliation( a recent controversy refers)
    pepper – attempt to add flavour.

    The Habbabkuk Guide 2917 says: no stars; unavailable after 8 June; not recommended.

    • Sharp Ears

      One of my favourites. Spaghetti Carbonara.

      How long did that take you? Perhaps you could spend the next hour or two working on the recipe for Theresa Maple Soup or alternatively Theresa Maypole Soup in view of the date.

      Did you ever dance around the maypole? Or don’t they have maypoles in ……?

    • bevin

      Don’t give up your day job. Your prospects as a comedian bleak, as a pundit prophesying the future, they are even worse.
      it looks like you are doomed to be an Hasbara for life, which is another argument in favour of the existence of a just God.
      You might want to contemplate the history of the Carbonari. The Restaurant owner obviously had.

      • Habbabkuk

        “… the Carbonari. The Restaurant owner obviously had.”

        Not that obvious at all given the names of the other dishes, you grey, grim, humourless fellow 🙂

        “Humour is no laughing matter and must only be indulged in on the basis of Marxist-Leninist principles” (Leon Trotsky, ca, 1935)

        • Anon1

          It’s always been a big problem for the radical left. No one takes you seriously if you don’t have a sense of humour, are unable to have a good laugh and can’t see the absurdity of life.

          • Anon1

            I had a Marxist professor at university who despite his ideology was always fair in his reading lists and his treatment of opposing views. He was one of the most intelligent people I have ever met.

            He said the most important thing in life is a sense of humour. I don’t think he was wrong.

          • bevin

            Humourless people almost invariably pride themselves on what they call their sense of humour. Alcyone is another of your lot, constantly guffawing at his own, lame attempts- usually nasty attacks on others- to be taken as funny.
            The truth is that there is nothing funny about the politics of the-to be brutally frank-arse licking which is the foundation of the apologies that you lot come up with for imperialism, bullying, exploiting workers and cheating the vulnerable.
            All humour is subversive of the powerful and the pompous. Kicking the underdog isn’t funny it is sick and sadistic. You guys need help.

          • Habbabkuk

            Yes, Bevs, but the humour wasn’t about oppressing the workers, etc, it was about a pasta dish named after Mr Jeremy Corbyn, something first raised by your fried Sharp Ears.

            What was that you were saying about humourless perople….?

          • Hmmm

            Most important thing is a sense of humour. I’d put food ahead of it tbh. And good health care. And treating humans with respect. I think your professor was taking the piss. It’s a good practical joke though.
            What’s the difference between habbabkuk and a Skoda?
            There’s a chance the Skoda joke might be funny.

          • Resident Dissident

            Your Marxist Professor wasn’t Bob Rowthorn by any chance?

  • Republicofscotland

    Latest poll has Yes ahead of no in the indyref for Scotland.

    Meanwhile as Ruth-less Davidson, can’t stop repeating the tired old line “We don’t want another independence referendum” (the Tory branch office in Scotland has no real policies except to bark the above line, at any given opportunity). Davidson’s boss Theresa May denies recognising the meeting with Jean-Claude Junkers as he explained it.

    Junkers said “I’m leaving Downing street ten times more sceptical, than I was before.”

    One gets the feeling that Theresa May, thinks she can cherry pick what she wants from the EU, and leave the rest, without upending any apple carts.

    The unmitigated disaster that is a Hard Brexit, just got that little bit harder.

      • RobG

        Fred, what with the Auld alliance there’s a strange kind of symmetry/echo going on here that I’m still trying to knit together.

        In the present wave of revolution the first big upset was the SNP winning 56 of the 59 seats in Scotland.

        That should have sent a big message to the Establishment, but the Establishment are complete dumbos.

        • fred

          It’s the FPTP system. They won 56 of the 59 seats with just 50% of the vote. The number of seats does not represent the level of support.

          • JOML

            “just 50% of the vote” is a lot healthier than the 37% of the vote the Tories got to secure a majority in Westminster. FPTP is an unfair system and the SNP would prefer a fairer system, despite currently benefiting from it. The Tories and Labour don’t support a change because they have always benefited from this unfair system.

          • Republicofscotland

            Yes JOML, “just 50% a figure Davidson, Rennie, Dugdale and even Theresa May would give their right arms for.

            56 of the 59 MP’s are SNP MP’s, I’m surprised Fred hasn’t claimed that 3 is higher than 56. ?

          • giyane

            3 plummy right-winger colonisers are obviously worth more than 500 colonees.
            It was all calculated out in the War on Islam, the relative value of a US serviceman compared to an Afghan extended family.

            If you don’t accept the agreed proportionality you’ll likely get struck off by the Law Society.
            Rah! rah! Vote for stable and secure government on June 8.

          • defo

            They need their right arms RoS, what with the seig heiling and all.
            But they would donate some other poor buggers right arm, natch.

      • Republicofscotland

        It found 41 per cent of voters wanted Scotland to be an independent member of the European Union, while a further 10 per cent favoured independence outside the bloc. Support for the Union stood at 48 per cent, while 54 per cent believed Scotland would be independent within 15 years.

        Sounds just fine to me, 41% plus 10% =51%.

    • michael norton

      you are being hoodwinked by Theresa May, she has no intention of having any sort of accord with the E.U.
      it will be the hardest brexit any of us could imagine.
      She is biding her time, waiting for FREXIT
      then she will piss all over the E.U. Elite Banksters/theives.

      • Republicofscotland

        France won’t vote for Le Pen, leaving the euro would cause the French economy to faulter badly.

        However to play devils advocate for a moment if your hideous vision does come to fruition, Theresa May will still have to deal with another 25 EU members, in what appears to be a bad tempered hard Brexit.

      • JOML

        Michael, are you suggesting Teresa is full of “piss”? If so, I can see where you’re coming from. ?

  • Republicofscotland

    Well they’re all crawling out of the woodwork now, first Blair McDougall Labour candidate for East Renfrewshire, now the ex-Better Together chief Alistair Darling is to front Ian Murray’s campaign in an attempt to hold Edinburgh South.

    The sad thing is that Edinburgh South will probably take to Alistair Darling’s eyebrow twitching, like a duck takes to water.

    It’s thought that Darling’s message to residents of Edinburgh South will be that the SNP should rule out another referendum.

    If I’m not mistaken, Labour, the Libdems and the Tories in Scotland, are running in the May’s council elections and the GE, on no other policies other than, Scotland doesn’t want or need another referendum, ergo vote anyone but the SNP.

  • Republicofscotland

    Apologies for linking to the Daily Mail, but we all know what a lovely guy Mr Danczuk is.

    “Rochdale MP Simon Danczuk, who was suspended by Labour for sending explicit texts, has been banned from standing for the party in the General Election.”

    “The controversial MP was told by party officials that he would not be endorsed as a candidate for the Lancashire seat, which he has held since winning it from the Liberal Democrats in 2010.”

    “Mr Danczuk was suspended from the Labour Party in 2015, pending an investigation, after The Sun reported that he had sent explicit messages to a 17-year-old girl.”

    Read more:
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  • michael norton

    The Gospel according to Sturgeon

    General election 2017: Sturgeon says indyref2 at heart of election

    • michael norton

      Looks like Sturgeon is nailing her colours to the rotting mast of
      “This Westminster Election IS Indyref2”
      Craig will be thrilled

      • Resident Dissident

        Does this mean that is the SNP doesn’t get 50% of the vote they will stop pushing for another referendum for another generation?

  • Anon1

    RepublicofScotland was highly critical of the EU before the EU referendum, even going so far as to write on this blog that an independent Scotland in the EU would not be an independent Scotland at all.

    Like the SNP (who used to be a deeply Eurosceptic party), RoS goes whichever way the wind blows. At various times he has been pro and anti EU, pro and anti Russia, pro and anti Muslim. Full credit is due to Fred for exposing this charlatan.

    • fred

      And of course it must be remembered the SNP were prepared to take Scotland out of the EU in 2014. If they had won the referendum Scotland would not have been a member and would have had no guarantees when or even if they would be able to join.

    • JOML

      I’m sure RoS will be delighted to know that he has at least 2 followers on this blog! ?

      • Habbabkuk

        I keep an eye on him as well, on and off,

        He’s at his best when he tries to curry favour with… posting the occasional comment critical of China. LOL

    • Republicofscotland

      The Muslim hater commending the Scot hater, that’s a new one.

      Birds of a feather as they say.

      • Habbabkuk

        Bit of a one-trick pony aren’t you.

        You never did tell me where you live in Scotland – it wouldn’t be Shetland, would it?

  • mog

    Looking forward to Mr Ethical’s (Nicholas Wilson) promised major revelation in the next 24 hours. He has long insisted that HSBC bank have been ‘controlling’ the Tory party and that the story tomorrow will vindicate him -thereby seriously damaging May’s electoral chances.
    ‘May Day’….

    • Loony

      HSBC do not control the Tory Party – along with a cabal of “systemically important” institutions they control the entire apparatus of the state. They can even compel the UK Chancellor to write letters to the US Government instructing the US that their Department of Justice do not have the authority to institute criminal proceedings against HSBC.

      All of this information is in the public domain and is readily verifiable. Yet no-one cares. Should I vote red, should I vote blue, should I vote Green, should I eat apples or should I eat oranges, should I put left shoe on first or my right shoe.

      For the crime of telling the truth Nicholas Wilson has paid a heavy price. It is unlikely that anything he has to say will add to the already available information as to both the criminality and the power of the banking sector. It is even more unlikely that anyone will care and so whatever he has to say will have zero impact on the outcome of the UK election.

      • giyane

        Obviously what’s needed is systemic weedkiller, that kills the docks but leaves the grass alone.

      • Resident Dissident

        That HSBC had to pay a $1.9bn fine to the US Authorities instead suggests to me at least that they didn’t get everything their own way.

        • giyane

          In the fantasy accounting land of banking, a hefty loss can always be offset.
          They count their debts as assets and their assets as expenses.
          Rah! rah! Vote Tory on June 8! Warfarin rules ok.

        • nevermind

          yes that was for laundering drugs money from Mexican cartels, res Dis, do spill the whole bean, but NOBODY WENT TO JAIL FOR IT, the surprising result being that some more money must have been paid to avert justice.

        • Loony

          HSBC called it a fee. They called it a fee because it was they that determined the amount of the fee. They kindly allowed the US government to call it a fine in their press releases and PR materials.

          It is all on the record. It is all documented.

  • Republicofscotland

    I see the celebrations for (stolen land) independence day has kicked off in the oppressive apartheid military rogue regime of Israel.

    For 69 years now, they’ve been squatting in stolen land, land saturated by Palestinian blood.

    A torch lighting process will (burn down Palestinian homes) be carried out in Rabin square. There will be fireworks displays and much joy, the macabre festivities will last until Tuesday evening.

    Then it back to the business killing and evicting the rightful owners of the land.

    • nevermind

      First it was English strange fruits bleeding in thorn bushes and barbed wire, at the hand of the Irgun and Haganah, now it is Palestinian children that are killed by hit and run settlers armed to the teeth, or shut away in prisons for throwing stones.

      Shame on the Friends of Israel in all parties for being complicit in their silence and admonishment of these hideous crimes by a rogue Apartheid state, shame on the lot of you!

  • giyane

    Members of this blog spent the day idly speculating the non-existence of God.
    That rather explains why USUKIS have spent the last 30 years persecuting those who do believe in Him with all resources available to them.

    A similar paradox is found in the Tory reposte to Corbyn adopting Electrical Safety Guidelines for Landlords.
    The Law says that the owner of a property is responsible for its proper maintenance. Many landlords don’t believe in this Law, and think they have no responsibility for complying with it. It will not cost tenants more money if the landlord maintains a their property in good order because the Law places all the responsibility for its maintenance on owners/landlords.

    Just as God has placed responsibility on humans’ shoulders whether or not to believe in Him.

      • giyane


        So much of an electrician’s job is discovering the bodges of existing installations. If the customer won’t upgrade to current regulations the limit of the electrician’s responsibility is to report the deficiency to the owner or their delegated responsible person.

        I have just spent 2 months working for a student accommodation £ billion company trying to establish who has that responsibility so I can report faults to them. The property I am working on did not comply with the regulations for residential property when it was built, so they never heaved on board the need for a dutyholder, because they never heaved on board the legislation in the first place.

        Dripping molten plastic on a faulty water heater thermostat, balls of molten copper inside an electric shower, blackened molten plastic on a cooker fan saturated with oil, would all have been prevented by the use of RCD safety trip switches.

        Well done Mr Corbyn for identifying a real need and putting it into his manifesto. No amount of BBC fake interviews with people saying they don’t trust him can take away from the fact that he is the real thing.

  • giyane

    Guy Hedger was the head of marketing at Liverpool Victoria, the insurance company that refused to pay out 1p when my car was stolen and burnt out, after a Political Muslim for whom I was working stole the keys.

    Vengeance is Mine. Thus saith the Lord. Was that for real or was that a CM spoof on the Bible?

    • Resident Dissident

      I suspect the Head of Marketing was not responsible for that decision but nothing like a good religious vendetta. My hint – try the Insurance Ombudsman.

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