Eurovision 7


I enjoyed the Eurovision song contest last night. I have more or less always watched it; great fun! Like many of my generation, I remember vividly watching live when ABBA first burst into our consciousness. In those days your musical director conducted the orchestra, and ABBA’s strode to the podium dressed as a silken Napoleon. Then the band appeared, and there can never have been a more definable, single moment rise to lasting stardom.

Last night I voted for Azerbaijan because I thought the girl was seriously hot. I was going to vote for one of the Baltic states as well on the same criterion, but couldn’t remember which Baltic state was which, as usual.

Despite the appearance of Dita von Teese, who apparently is Art, which might explain why I don’t fancy her, there was slightly less exuberant sexuality on display than last year. The pole dancer singing for Ukraine seemed rather past her sell by date, though the aerial splits were still remarkable. The Norwegian winner was like a throwback, with its ponderous tum tum tum opening beat, but all good fun.

I am not a fan of the music of Lloyd Webber, and his song sounded like a parody. It reminded me of “The Song That Goes Like This” from Spamalot. But it was still the first UK entry for ages that didn’t make my toes curl in shame, and Jade surprised me by shooting up my fanciability scale.

The staging was appalling. The British “Team” apparently had a choreographer. Presumably the wooden, unattractive and positively scowling male violinists positioned awkwardly on the stage were her idea. Jade actually contrived at one stage to hit her microphoone hand on a fiddler’s elbow. There were loads of other fiddlers on stage on the night. The others were all drop dead gorgeous girls in flimsy clothes, or hunky men with sparkling eyes. We had grouchy middle aged graceless second violins looking like they had just left a Moss Bros oddments sale. And as for having Lloyd Webber actually on view!

Graham Norton was OK, but seemed not quite confident enough to move into full mickey-taking mode. He creased me up when he suggested of Iceland that the entire nation had to chip in for the air fare. But his breathless excitement over forty minutes about whether the UK came 4th, 5th or 6th was dull.

If Cameron had not arrived, I would have been at the Globe with my sister Celia and daughter Emily instead. I haven’t really enjoyed a Globe production yet. Eurovision or Shakespeare? Life is full of strange choices.


7 thoughts on “Eurovision

  • lwtc247

    “There were loads of other fiddlers on stage on the night.” Funny, never heard any mention of Jacko in the build-up.

  • KevinB

    Whenever I’ve tried to watch Eurovision I find myself losing the will to live before half an hour is up.

    Ctaig, I can’t work out if you’ve gone up or down in my estimation.

  • Suhayl Saadi

    Oh God, non-stop Eurovision – irony or no irony, it’s still my idea of Hell!

    Buck’s Fizz, remember? ARGHHHHHH!!!!

  • Lancey

    Given that the UK charts constantly seem to be filled with the kind of cheesy pop that should excel at Eurovision, it’s baffling to me that we constantly seem to miss the point of the contest and field acts that, by and large, are far too earnest.

    Sad state of affairs, even when we’re trying to be naff, we can’t quite manage it.

  • glenn

    Graham Norton was absolutely terrible. His interminable witterings were occasionally funny, but no more so than some rambling drunk – maybe 10% of what he says might be entertaining, but on the whole one could do without it.

    A lot of the clips, introduced (in English!) by respective countries participating, did not need a jovial voice-over telling us what some quaint foreign place (Russia, Greece etc.) is actually all about. His self indulgent prattling spoiled what could have been a self-introducing trip around our European counterparts.

    I was in an indulgent mood, having had a decent glass or two, and have no axe to grind against Norton – but he treated the event as a radio host who cannot allow “dead air” for even a few seconds. Cutting across the Cosmonauts with his meaningless chunter was unforgivable.

    For once, we disagree Craig – I think even the dreadful Wogan would not have been worse!

  • paul

    I commented at the time, all the other entries had a stage full of good looking women … and our entry was 1 woman, some male violinists not doing a lot and Andrew, who the phrase “fell out of the ugly tree” was probably originally invented for.

    Had to laugh at the commentators complete lack of mathematical skills, breathlessly wondering if we will finish in the top 5 with one score left and a 40 point gap to … Estonia (the other good looking one from a Baltic state you mentioned)

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