Sky News Exclusive – Inside the World of the Taliban Sandbank Squads 58


MOD sources have revealed exclusively to Sky that the Taliban attack on HMS Astute could have been “Bigger Than 9/11”. As Sky correspondent Adam Ramsay was told exclusively by Taliban commander Hilal-al-Wemadeituppy, a crack Taliban team planted the Improvised Sandbank Device that almost destroyed HMS Astute on Friday.


HMS Astute Disabled By Deadly Taliban ISD Attack

Now MOD and security service sources have told Sky security correspondent Oswald Moseley that this attack was potentially “Bigger than 9/11”. This is the 435th such potentially bigger than 9/11 attack since 9/11.

Sky can exclusively reveal that, if the contact with the Improvised Sandbank Device or ISD had caused an explosion in the nuclear reactor on board HMS Astute, it could have wiped out the two hundred million people living on the North West Coast of Scotland.

John Reid, former Home Secretary, told Sky News that this was evidence that the Islamic threat was now potentially more destructive than a full scale nuclear war with China.


Lord Blair, formerly Head of the Metropolitan police, believes that Britian must now strengthen anti-terrorism legislation and re-open investigations into thousands of Muslims who have been searched or arrested and released.

“IIn the past we have concentrated on looking for potential bomb ingredients like sugar or domestos. We now realise that many suspected terrorist houses, where insufficient evidence could be found for a prosecution, in fact contained sand. This was often found in the garden. It was very often cunningly disguised as a playpit. All reasonable people must deplore the use of children as a front for terrorism. We believe that sand may also have been cunningly incorporated into the very fabric of some of these homes.”

Sky News can exclusively reveal that Lord Blair’s remarks have reopened debate on the vexed question of Detention Without Charge. Top security analyst Rupert Mussolini believes that the sandbank threat proves suspects should be detained for much longer periods to give the police time to think up a ludicrous pretext. “If you are going to bang people up without reason for 28 days, why not 196?” he asks.


In the past, it has been revealed exclusively by Sky News that Muslims engaged in any form of sport or outdoor activity, such as skiing or white water rafting, are actually engaged in Al-Qaida team building exercises. Only now do we realise the full extent of such activity in intensive training camps actually here in the UK to give secret training in the preparation of Improvised Sandbank Devices (ISDs).


Deadly Sandbank Training


Military historian Andrew Mengele has explained exclusively to Sky News that Muslims would be incapable of thinking up a tactic like the Impovised Sandbank Device (ISD) for themselves, but were taught it by the British.

Dr Mengele explained “Many military historians like myself beliive that the Improvised Sandbank Device, or ISD as we military historians call it, was intoduced into Islamic culture by that great master tactician of guerilla warfare, Lawrence of Arabia”.


Lawrence of Arabia With Prototype Sandbank


In an interesting twist, Sky’s Northern Ireland correspondent John Knoxkingbilly can exclusively reveal to Sky viewers that the security services in Northern Ireland believe that the ISD provides further evidence of tactical and ideological linkages between al-Qaida and the IRA.


The Riddle of the Sands

There is, apparently, no end to the fanaticism of the Taliban menace, of which the Improvised Sandbank Device is but the latest manifestation of an infinite threat. In the chilling words of Taliban Commander Hilal-al-Wemadeituppy, talking exclusively to our Chief Correspondent Adam Ramsay, “We will fight them with the beaches, Inshallah”.

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58 thoughts on “Sky News Exclusive – Inside the World of the Taliban Sandbank Squads

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  • dreoilin

    ‘This comment triggers Godwin’s Law’

    In case anyone didn’t know, Dispatches tonight on Channel 4 at 20:00 is about Wikileaks.

  • I'm Not Larry

    The thing is with Sky news and the BBC variant for that matter, is that you hardly are any less informed by just ignoring their garbage out-pourings. In fact you are better off to leave it well alone and not have your judgement clouded by their thinly veiled lies and propaganda. My sunday mornings are also enhanced by not sharing it with the bollocks coming out of Andrew Marr’s gob and his so-called guests. Life is too short and weekends too valuable to be cluttered with tv news shite. Sure the plebs will lap it all up like dogs eating their own vomit, better to not eat it in the first place and suffer indigestion. BTW is that overpaid fat xxxx still spouting crap on sky on sunday mornings?

  • glenn

    Not “wide-stance” Larry said, “BTW is that overpaid fat xxxx still spouting crap…” – I never watch sky so wouldn’t know. But your description doesn’t narrow it down much. My guess would be that miserable lying scum, the establishment stooge and apologist David Aaronovitch, if he’s on there. His mate Angry hasn’t posted here for a while, come to think of it. There are a bunch of other scumbag fat xxxx’s that spout crap, of course, but is that the bastard you’re thinking of?

  • anno

    Can I have another slice of that Quilliam Brand halal spam, please? It makes a change from the normal kocher salami we get from psewdo-Jew Melanie Philips and Larry from St Lewis.

    Craig was probably pissed when he posted this piece. But the sheer quantity of offal spoken on the broadcast or printed media makes it difficult to tackle the lies about Iraq, or the lies about false flag terrorism with anything but satire.

    I was working at an army base the week before 9/11, and I wanted to pray Jumu’uah on Friday. A Sikh man said to me, We know all about Jumu’uah. Jumadeitup.

    One of the reasons why the atrocities against Muslims are ignored and the lies about Islamic terrorism are accepted, by most people, is that the touchstone of the truth of Islam is utterly distasteful to the majority of the world’s population.

    The slander of police driven false flag terror and the genocide which the wikileaks have scratched the surface of, are generally consumed like hot-dogs-hot-steaming=offal because they fit with the sentiments of the majority, whether Sikh or Christian, or any other of the world’s utterly false religions.

  • Suhayl Saadi

    anno, at 3:45am, that is simply not true. Paradoxically, there has to be some psychological, if not political, element of ‘truth’, no matter how small, in all successful propaganda – that is one of the reasons it is successful to the degree it is.

    But your sweeping, generalised statements, not merely about all other religions, but about all ‘other’ peoples, flies in the face all the evidence of what you’ve read here on this blog, for example, over the past couple of years, and much else.

    Just because some ijeut rubbed you up the wrong way – and no doubt others will have too – doesn’t mean you can go and condemn all Sikh (or Christian) people! If you’re arguing that most people in Britain are no longer Christian anyway, that doesn’t seem consistent.

    Look, mate, if you grow up brown and Muslim, you get used to the slings and arrows as you grow up – not nice, and actually in general much better now than it was in the 1960s/70s, believe me. Like a lot of life experience, to which you are no stranger, it both damages and also strengthens you at some very deep level.

    Can it not be possible to be oppositional wrt imperialism without simultaneously demononising millions – billions – of people in identical, if cruder, fashion as the purveyors of imperial power do in order to suit their own cynical ends?

    Is it not absolutely essential – as a thinking human being and as a Muslim – to retain one’s own sense of humanity in the process and in the midst of darkness and despair? Indeed, is it not imperative to do so? Is this not what some people criticse some Jewish supporters of Israel for (“They ought to know better because they suffered”, etc.)? Perhaps now you will understand how and why those people, too, became so very bitter and fixed in their ideologies. For all too often, oppression breeds, not understanding, but bitterness and hate. This is precisely the cycle the purveyors of propganda want to set in motion.

  • Suhayl Saadi

    Re. massive spambot attack:

    They’ve tried one way, then another and have decided on this – flooding, as they’ve been beaten in every other way. Their trolls are useless and have been exposed. They do not want CM to remain an active political figure – that much has been clear for years. Now he’s resumed blogging, suddenly these massive spams arrive: “I’m looking through you.” Rubber Soul.

  • Suhayl Saadi

    It’s utterly relentless, it’s an engine of propaganda, day-after-day-afer-day. My concern is that this might all be more than just hot air, that they may be the flagposts for a projected false flag episode at this time. It would serve a dual purpose:

    1) The usual: support for ongloing systemic war.

    2) Divert attention from the unemployment and misery resulting from the mass rape of the public by big private finance institutions and their front company, the UK Government.

    The police ought really to be receiving intensive training in how to deal with the robber barons who run our economy and our country – indeed, who run the world – who’ve killed more people than all the urban terrorist outfits of all time put together, who run many of those same urban terrorist groupings and whose actions are truly, systemically and coldly terrifying.

  • somebody

    Yes agree Suhayl. A nice way to wake up to hear Francine Gardner with his clipped vowels hyping it up. It actually sounded scary – equipping the police with higher velocity weapons, co-training* with the SAS (that probably happens already) and an SAS squad based in London for the Olympics. What’s it going to be next time?

    Then you hear that the organization and the financing of police forces authorities is in a shamble as the police authorities are being disbanded in eighteen months’ time to be replaced by elected commissioners. The financial cuts are already taking effect. This week 11 of the ‘most senior officers’ in the Surrey force have been made redundant and their jobs will go. The cost of the redundancies and the early payment of pensions is not mentioned.

    Will we sleep safely in our beds?

    *PS The Met go to Israel for training as was revealed in the de Menezes inquest.

  • dreoilin


    But stuck in there in the middle it says

    “The BBC’s security correspondent Frank Gardner said there was no indication that such an attack was imminent in the UK.”

    and it was only 8 October that I posted this on Twitter, from the Guardian:

    “Barack Obama accused of exaggerating terror threat for political gain

  • ingo

    The Taliban’s sand bank squads succeeeded in causing millions of pounds worth of damage to astute with their ISD’s.

    The Taliban infiltrated A Quaeda cells in upper Glossop, who were believed to be behind the menacing u-boat traps made from shovels welded together on top of the sand bank, fetsooned with a single five pound rock, are said to be competing with the sympathizers of Scotland, SoS, for the priviledge to be seen in the back ground of official BBC pictures taken at the holiday spot.

    Anybody looking for bearded persons will be disappointed, they all shaved in anticipation of being rubb ed out by the sub on to the sand bank.

    Firefighters on strike for the 15 minutes it takes for the paltry Olympics fireworks to go off, are being told that SAS snipers, looking for machine gun wielding Al Quaeda infiltrtators within the FBU, will surround the Olympic site, prepared for anyone carrying a disguised table leg in a shopping bag, or anything shiny and long.

    News teams and especially the camera crews, are asked to mask their lenses, just in case refelctions occur and accidentally cause a shooting incident.

    Athletes with time off are ask not to wear any bling or play crazy golf with shiny clubs as this could be construed as brandishing a AK47, not nice at all.

    Met officers eager to have a go, will be accompanying the SAS as it is thought their past unstable relationships, gung ho menacing pictures brandishing guns in front of a certain bar in Hereford, as well as their ‘exemplary record’ in appeasing Brazilian’s and newspaper vendors make it impossible for them to hold the guns themselves. Their presence is required to look, learn and listen, as well as holding ammunitions and cleaning equipment.

    Knowing the media, this could allm be bollox, would not suprise me one little bit.

  • I'm really not Larry, really and I didnt do 911

    Must be a slow news day or something however why would they publicise the fact that they are taking extra precautions, training and indeed purchasing more high powered weapons if indeed such a threat has been detected. If a plot is really being planned by the bearded guys wearing frocks, would it be a good idea to let them know we know about it and are ready for them. Surely they would just change their plans? Just another scary story from lowly radio 4 propagandists who used to call themselves journalists. I’m sure Brian Redhead must be spinning at full speed….

  • Grant

    How do you tell the difference between an innocent Muslim and a terrorist?

    The terrorist is carrying a shovel or a spade.

  • Suhayl Saadi

    somebody, there’s a company based near Glasgow which runs ‘security training’. The company, it has been reported in the media, is run by Ivery interesting people. Check out these links; I’ve left out the begininng part so I can post more than one link at a time):

    Check our their website.

    Here’s another piece:

    And now, arguably the most illuminating of all these reports:

    Helensburgh is extermely close to the UK nuclear arsenal. Helensburgh is a little, out-of-the-way town. Intriguing place for such a company to be based. I’m sure it’s to do with the fresh air coming off the Firth of Clyde. Yes, that’ll be it, they’ll be into the environment.

    Please note that I wish to state for the record that I able neither to endorse nor refute any information contained within any of these links; I simply post them as open source material as a springboard for discussion.

    Let us ponder, then.

  • anno

    Yes Suhayl, the kernel of truth in my statement of 03.45 comes from the statement in the Qur’an that the non-Muslims are millatun wahid, one following. You treat my evangelism as vandalism. I am not permitted in Islam to state that their religions are wrong, in case they say that Islam is wrong from the top of their heads. So, yes, I am at fault about that. But I didn’t say it to anyone in particular, but rather as an explanation to myself of why the non-Muslims buy the trash the media serves up to them.

    The anger you detect is not mine but Allah’s, and He states also that they hate Him first, long before thinking about how they can make mischief for us. His anger and words, not mine. His warning of His anger and punishment, not my warning of my anger or my punishment. Are they going to send spam on the Day of Judgement against Allah?

  • Suhayl Saadi

    Good question! ‘Do spambots go to heaven?’ – nice title, too! Also, in an alternative world, I see a large banner splayed across the front of a Latitudinarian church, with the words, ‘Is Evangelism Vandalism?’ And why not?

    To be slightly serious, though, of course the generating of fear requires the essentialisation of some ‘Other’ – at thie current juncture, Islam – and this process will draw on all manner of cultivated ignorance from a number of centuries.

    You see, fundamentally I don’t see the world as divided-up into Muslims and non-Muslims (or Jews and non-Jews, or Hindus and non-Hindus, or blacks and whites, or…); I just see a small blue world spinning in space and tiny entities who have termed themselves, ‘human beings’ running around on its husk. I know this is going to sound unbearably conceited and I don’t mean it to be; I have my prejudices and subconscious filters, etc. as much as the next person; but you know, generally, when I look at people, I just see… people.

  • Suhayl Saadi

    Further to my post of 4:11pm, here is the gentleman himself. Amnon Maor, ‘Chief Instructor of the Israel Border Police’. This is the gentleman, who, it has been alleged, is associated with the delivery of training in ‘security’ in Scottish cities to a variety of publically-funded organisations. Hmn, must be a nice guy. “Praxis-proven”, let us say.

    I note that the ubiquitous Professor Paul Wilkinson has been quoted on 360 Defence Ltd’s website. Hmn, must be a nice guy. “Praxis-proven”, too, I’ll bet.

  • anno

    ‘all manner of cultivated ignorance from a number of centuries’ is nearly as good as ‘sado-monetarist’.

    In fact it is the fertile tilth of generations of this cultivated ignorance of the West that feeds the present government’s sado-monetarism.

    Gardener’s Question Time.’I’ve had this sado-monetary plant five years and its leaves are all yellow and it never flowers. Any suggestions from the panel please?’

    ‘Make sure you feed your sado-monetarism with liberal dressings of well-rotted, cultivated ignorance from different types and ages of illogicality and prejudice. Next year you’ll find it flowering and putting out new growth.’

    ‘Thank you so much. I’ll go and do that now’.

  • anno

    ‘Sado-monetarist’ comes from Strategist’s comment on Not so radical spending cuts, Oct. 21 . 2010 , 12.42.

  • technicolour

    Anno, I was also moved by a comment of yours on the other thread; to the effect that, realising you needed spiritual solutions to your external problems, you would feel wrong in imposing practical guidelines on others.

  • Jon

    Hey Suhayl, hope you’re well. For your post [October 26, 2010 6:54 AM] – thanks. That was spot on.

  • Roderick Russell

    I must take exception to Suhayl Saadi’s post at October 26, 2010 4:11 PM when he says — “Helensburgh is a little, out-of-the-way town.”

    What’s this nonsense about “out-of-the-way town”; Quite the contrary – Helensburgh is a great town. The inventors of television and of the first sea going steam ship (The Comet) both came from Helensburgh and, most important of all ?” my wife comes from Helensburgh.

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