Massive Growth in Non-Existent Crime 227


It is lead news in every outlet of the mainstream media today that there is a massive increase in terrorism – as everyone can plainly see from all the bodies littering our streets.

I can also tell you that there is a massive increase in the threat of deadly asteroids about to hit Britain and destroy us all. My unimpeachable evidence for the existence of this massive asteroid threat is my own anti-asteroid activity. I and my dedicated team have visited 268 sites this year where we thought an asteroid was about to strike. That represents a 40% increase on our activity last year and therefore the media can say a 40% increase in the asteroid threat.

Thankfully due to the brilliance and never-ceasing vigilance of my anti-asteroid team the world has been saved. We can continue to do this if given a further 15% budget increase to 32 billion pounds and the right to arrest anyone anytime who looks a bit dusky, and take Theresa May to pose in their home.

There will also be a new crime of denying that asteroids are dangerous or looking at videos and pictures of asteroids. Anybody found guilty of looking at asteroids in other countries will be found guilty of treason and hung drawn and quartered.


227 thoughts on “Massive Growth in Non-Existent Crime

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  • Mary ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪

    Anyone to sign this please?

    Britain Must Atone for its Historical Failure in Palestine

    Responsible department: Foreign and Commonwealth Office

    We call on Her Majesty’s Government to openly recognise British responsibility for the plight of the Palestinian people. The colonial policy of Britain between 1917-1948 led to mass displacement of the Palestinian nation.

    The British government failed to protect the Palestinian people, which was a breach of its obligations under the Mandate. Britain’s failure led to communal strife, violence and mass displacement of more than half of the Palestinian population before expiration of its Mandate.

    The Balfour declaration of 1917 clearly prejudiced the rights of Palestinian people and sealed their fate, leading to untold suffering. Since then, seven million Palestinian refugees, more than half the Palestinian population have had to endure this historic injustice, a blatant denial of their human rights.

    HM Government bears responsibility for the plight of Palestinians and has a duty to ensure proper restoration and reparation for its historical failure.

    Number of signatures:1,670
    Created by:Baroness Jenny Tonge
    Closing:30/03/2015

    http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/63195

  • Ben E. Geserit Muad'Dib Further Confounding Gender Speculators

    If I were a UK resident…alas Mary.

  • DoNNyDarKo

    Wake UP HABBA!!And there was me thinking that the OmniClevvaArse could use the internet… mmm
    Disappointed in you Habbalook.
    Try again, and if you canny find it I’ll help.

  • DoNNyDarKo

    Signed it Mary.
    Parliament still mention the Balfour agreement, they just never mention sticking to it.

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella) !

    DonnyDarkThoughts : “Re Ebola: Cuba sent hundreds of doctors and medical personnel.”

    Habbabkuk : Source, please.

    DonnyDarkSide : Wake UP HABBA!!And there was me thinking that the OmniClevvaArse could use the internet… mmm
    Disappointed in you Habbalook.
    Try again, and if you canny find it I’ll help.

    ____________________

    Comment : most people don’t mind providing their source if asked. Why do you?

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella) !

    Benny (California Friend of Holocaust Deniers)

    “If I were a UK resident…alas Mary.”
    ___________________

    That has never stopped you commenting on matters to do with the UK, has it?

    Are you afraid that the SIS/GCHQ will send your details to the CIA?

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella) !

    Mary

    “What an unpleasant person the troll is with so much hate in his heart.”
    _________________

    Somewhat less than you have, I suspect

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Now I am called a Jew hater for saying that Bright worked for the JC.”
    ___________________

    Just basing myself on a study of your posts over the last two years or so, dear.

    But I’ll happily withdraw the remark for this time of you can demonstrate the relevance of your information to the rest of your post.

    As you’ve probably forgotten, your post appeared at 16h28.

    Of you go.

    ______________________

    Dump reals, rupees, roubles and renminbis, buy $$$$, ££££, €€€€ and shekels. You know it makes sense!

  • Republicofscotland

    That dirty filthy bigoted organisation the Orange Order, are set to back any party that opposes the SNP. at the GE and the 2016 Scottish elections.

    Like Sharia Law, the Orange Order and their sectarian henchmen have no place in modern society, these bottom of the rung unionist, lackey foot soldiers, are now an embarrassment to Scotland.

    https://archive.today/1c3rW

  • DoNNyDarKo

    Give you a hint HabbaKlue: Begins with G and ends with N.
    Try once again. Its easy. A child could do it.
    GooGle G******N

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella) !

    DonnyDarko

    Thank you for providing the source.

    Although it will pain you to hear me say it: all credit to Cuba.

  • fred

    “Yes I agree Sharia law has no place, in the UK, its an antiquated, practice of biblical proportions, and it has no place in modern society.”

    So do you object to other bodies and organisations having rules and regulations and tribunals to decide if someone has broken them and if they should be penalised?

    Unions, private clubs, sports bodies. I often see that the Football Association or the Jockey Club have tried and penalised one of their members.

  • Habbabkuk (La vita è bella) !

    Fred (19h44)

    I advise you to stick to commenting about Scotland and Scottish nationalism, where you talk much sense, and to leave other discussions to people who can see the slight difference between the nature and effects of ecclesiastical law and the rules and regulations of the Jockey Club.

    Baaa, baaaa…..

  • Republicofscotland

    So do you object to other bodies and organisations having rules and regulations and tribunals to decide if someone has broken them and if they should be penalised?

    Unions, private clubs, sports bodies. I often see that the Football Association or the Jockey Club have tried and penalised one of their members.
    ___________________________

    Fred

    No not all all, if you join an organisation, then you should abide by that organisations rules in good faith, but then again, it really depends on what the organisation is, the ones you mention for example I would say are generally okay, but that’s just my opinion. Other may have a different view point.

    Finally I’d like to add that if said organisations rules lead to infringements of human rights or imperil ones, or,others safety, wellbeing, then abiding by their rules is another matter.

  • fred

    “Finally I’d like to add that if said organisations rules lead to infringements of human rights or imperil ones, or,others safety, wellbeing, then abiding by their rules is another matter.”

    A system which is effectively voluntary could hardly do that. So long as the courts rulings are not legally binding under UK law they are merely an arbitration service.

    Other religions have rules they expect their followers to adhere to, not least the Free Church of Scotland. You agree to them when you join and if you don’t like them you leave.

  • Tim

    The question is the degree of compulsion. The Catholic church’s rules on contraception, which it actively seeks to impose on non-Catholics by lobbying for changes in criminal law, being an interesting example.

  • Mary ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪

    ConDem corruption

    1 State secrets

    GPT cover up, Issue 1377
    BURYING state-endorsed corruption on multi-billion pound contracts signed in the UK taxpayer’s name is a price that must be paid to keep Saudi Arabia happy, the Information Commissioner has concluded.
    Last month Eye 1375’s special report on kickbacks on a £2bn contract between the British and Saudi governments for military communications equipment, Shady Arabia and the Desert Fix, presented prima facie evidence that the UK government itself approved the bribes through a dedicated Ministry of Defence team in Riyadh.

    /..
    http://www.private-eye.co.uk/sections.php?section_link=in_the_back&

    2. Giddy Gideon

    Tax avoidance, Issue 1377
    Chancellor George Osborne promises to get tough on his tax-avoiding tech chums.

    GEORGE OSBORNE has promised a blitz on offshore tax avoidance by firms such as Google and Facebook in his forthcoming autumn statement. “Some technology companies go to extraordinary lengths to pay little or no tax here,” he told the Conservative party conference as if this was some sudden, startling revelation. “If you abuse our tax system, you abuse the trust of the British people.”

    Red carpet treatment
    What he meant to say, surely, was: “If you abuse our system, you get the red carpet treatment from me, chums!” Or has the chancellor forgotten that it was he who helped recruit Google chairman Eric Schmidt to the prime minister’s council of business advisers; who presided at the opening of Google Campus in east London; and who hosted a party at 11 Downing Street in April 2013 for Facebook chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg to launch her book Lean In?

    In his speech at the party for Sandberg, Osborne said some might wonder why an American citizen should have such a rare privilege. “The main reason,” the star-struck chancellor drooled, “is she is a fantastic woman.”

    /..

    http://www.private-eye.co.uk/sections.php?section_link=hp_sauce&

    and the front cover of the latest edition.
    http://www.private-eye.co.uk/current_issue.php?

  • Mary ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪

    Internet trolls be warned.

    18 October 2014

    Internet trolls face up to two years in jail under new laws
    Chris Grayling said he wanted to tackle the ‘baying cyber-mob’

    Internet trolls could face up to two years in jail under new laws, Justice Secretary Chris Grayling has said.

    He told the Mail on Sunday quadrupling the current maximum six-month term showed his determination to “take a stand against a baying cyber-mob”.

    The plan has been announced days after TV presenter Chloe Madeley suffered online abuse, which Mr Grayling described as “crude and degrading”.

    Magistrates could pass serious cases on to crown courts under the new measures.

    Social media ‘venom’

    Mr Grayling told the newspaper: “These internet trolls are cowards who are poisoning our national life.

    “No-one would permit such venom in person, so there should be no place for it on social media. That is why we are determined to quadruple the current six-month sentence.”

    /..
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-29678989

    They are psychotic sickos.

  • fred

    “The question is the degree of compulsion. The Catholic church’s rules on contraception, which it actively seeks to impose on non-Catholics by lobbying for changes in criminal law, being an interesting example.”

    Yes, another example. In the UK where Catholics are a minority contraception is legal and abortion laws decided largely on medical grounds. So long as that is the case I don’t see that them having a voluntary set of rules among themselves infringes on anyone’s human rights.

  • Sofia

    Mary. 11:18 am

    “To little Shayma who only lived for five days.
    On July 25, surgeons in Gaza delivered a baby girl by Caesarean section within hours of the death of her mother, Shayma al-Sheikh Qanan, from wounds sustained in an Israeli shell attack. The girl, also named Shayma, died five days later in an incubator as shelling cut the power supply.
    The author is Neil Young, a good journalist who worked for the Western Morning News but who now lives in Scotland.
    Shayma
    I see you turning cartwheels on the beach
    like my own daughter, my wee girl
    and hands like mine – your father’s – tracing
    crease of skin and shoulder curl;
    I see you laughing – wondrous laughter –
    as you slip on your mother’s shoes,
    and birthday candles, like my daughter’s,
    yet each blow unique to you;
    And when at school the teacher asks
    what you will be when you have grown
    you tell them dancer, doctor¸ maybe
    film star – it’s too much to know;
    Your almost life plays out as I
    look on distractedly at my daughter
    and all that really splits their worlds
    is timing, birthright, language, border –
    Life: Your mother’s held so cheaply
    her bloodied body stained the street,
    The surgeon’s hands that cut through her
    to save you cut the skin as deep
    to reach our child, our own wee girl.
    For you, a conscript’s hands await
    to kill the power and, Shayma, every
    breath of hope you incubate.

    Habbabkuk (La vita è bella) !
    18 Oct, 2014 – 12:13 pm
    ” every
    breath of hope you incubate.”

    The “incubate” rhyme is a little clumsy, isn’t it? Not keen on the “wee” in the fourth line from the end either, a Scottish resonance in a Palestinian context jars a little. Otherwise, better than most of the other stuff you’ve posted.

    Mary what a beautiful and moving poem.

    And what a vile and sickening response. I thought I knew how low your stalker could sink, but such a gleeful trivialisation breaks new ground.

    I don’t think he should be banned though. I know it’s hard to look at Dad’s droppings without feeling an ungent need for gallons of warm water laced industrial strength disinfectant, but, doesn’t such a display over the death of a murdered woman’s child illustrate perfectly the Hasbara mindset and explain the present state of Israel only too well.

    I think we should thank Dad for a master stroke of public diplomacy.

    Here are some of his soulmates out for a barbie.

    Dad.

    You have illustrated the utter depravity of the state of Israel only too well.

    What puzzles me is that a rogue state should work so hard controlling the media so as to keep the true face and human cost of Zionism hidden, while at the same time mobilising an army of “public diplomats” to pull the covers away again.

    I’d say that’s about as clever as sending the IDF into South Lebanon but it clearly seemed a good idea to someone.

    I wonder if he can explain what he thought he was going to achieve in the minds of the undecided.

  • Jives

    Habbabkuk,

    Oh do shut up you little Mossad shill fartpie.

    Embarrassingly servile guffmeister ye.

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