Stunning New Leaked Document 220


A gentleman in a dark trenchcoat has just handed me this minute. I am not going to check the veracity of its contents at all, but I am rather going immediately to publish it.

Mr Carlton-Browne,

I had a phone call from that Peruvian Johnny. No idea what he was saying, some kind of foreigner talk apparently. Anyway it turned out that young Olga the cleaner could speak the language so she translated for me. She is a marvel, Olga. She even takes copies home of everything for me so that if I lose something she’ll have another copy safe and sound.

Anyway, apparently this Peruvian chap had been in Scotland and met up with Alex Salmond, who used to be some sort of local official. He thought that I would like to know that Salmond said he wasn’t big on canapes and despite his name didn’t like smoked salmon. Rather wry that, I thought.

He went on to say that Salmond said he had enormous respect for Nigel Farage, who was very macho, and he would be delighted to see a UKIP government in power after the general election, preferably in coalition with Pegida. Salmond added “thank God nobody knows about this, or they would lynch me. Of course I haven’t told anybody, but I feel perfectly safe revealing it at random to a passing Peruvian I just met.”

The Peruvian chap said before he hung off that of course he was telling me as everybody knows that all foreign ambassadors must by protocol give details of all their transactions to their host governments and that anybody who denied this was a dirty liar, particularly smart-arsed ex-diplomats from Edinburgh. He also added clearly that nobody at all should believe him if he himself denied these conversations had ever taken place.

I thanked him very much for this information. This is a very proper and official government memo, oh yes. It even has acronyms – we shall have to tell R2D2 and SPECTRE before the meeting in Rio about climate change because we are all genuine government people doing important government business, oh yes.

I shan’t put my name on this as it is all jolly secret. If anyone catches us out, just say Olga got lost in translation.


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220 thoughts on “Stunning New Leaked Document

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  • Republicofscotland

    That is shocking and should make any democrat wonder what sort of state and society the SNP would create were it ever to be in charge of an independent Scotland.
    _________________________________

    Ha hah ha,you sound half hearted in your attempt to gain a rise out of someone,late night last night?

    Or is it all becoming a bit too much for you to handle.

    I suspect the latter to be true.

  • Republicofscotland

    Well one things for sure,the Chilcot report,won’t be leaked,after 5 years of obscurantism,we’re no closer to the truth,why well,its not in Westminster’s interests to release it anytime soon.

    But the false smear story on Nicola Sturgeon, is in Westminster’s interests, as was the leaked information by Sir Nicholas MacPherson,at the Treasury,about certain financial institutions moving across the border (in name only I might add) if Scotland became independent.

    Westminster,and Whitehall,sinster and devious institutions.

  • Republicofscotland

    Nicola Sturgeon at the Trident demo yesterday said,”I give you my cast iron assurance SNP MP’s will never support Trident,and thats why we need as many SNP, MPs as possible in the House of Commons.”

    Is that clear enough?

  • Resident Dissident

    But Habba didn’t you realise the fifty shades of brown assembled in St Petersburg now fall within the Putinist definition of anti-fascist

    http://www.interpretermag.com/what-does-the-fascist-conference-in-st-petersburg-tell-us-about-contemporary-russia/

    Or that their hero is now doing the unthinkable (at least in my time in Russia) and rehabilitating the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact

    http://www.nybooks.com/blogs/nyrblog/2014/nov/10/putin-nostalgia-stalin-hitler/

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/vladimir-putin/11213255/Vladimir-Putin-says-there-was-nothing-wrong-with-Soviet-Unions-pact-with-Adolf-Hitlers-Nazi-Germany.html

    And then of course they would be blind when it comes to seeing parallels between their hero and real fascists.

  • Resident Dissident

    But Habba didn’t you realise the fifty shades of brown assembled in St Petersburg now fall within the Putinist definition of anti-fascist

    http://www.interpretermag.com/what-does-the-fascist-conference-in-st-petersburg-tell-us-about-contemporary-russia/

    Or that their hero is now doing the unthinkable (at least in my time in Russia) and rehabilitating the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact

    http://www.nybooks.com/blogs/nyrblog/2014/nov/10/putin-nostalgia-stalin-hitler/

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/vladimir-putin/11213255/Vladimir-Putin-says-there-was-nothing-wrong-with-Soviet-Unions-pact-with-Adolf-Hitlers-Nazi-Germany.html

  • Habbabkuk (La vita e' bella)

    Republicofscotland

    “And heres me thinking,that you’d be more of a Theresa May type guy,you know the type,when something goes wrong like lets say,border patrol immigration,you blame it on someone else.”
    ____________________

    I know that talking about women is not entirely to your taste, but still, I must tell you that although I prefer Theresa May’s taste in shoes it is Nicola who has the more attractive legs.

  • Mary

    RoS Don’t bother with him/her, in whichever country he resides and whatever he does/did for a living. His clockwork is wearing out. He was once a top hole Hasbara troll but someone overwound his/her spring.

  • Ishmael

    That’s one hell of a list isn’t it? Like the transformation of uk society, but instead we need weapons it would be immoral to use. And are immoral as they currently are used. ?

    Someone is clearly insane. And we all suffer as a result.

  • Mary

    Chris Gunness of UNWRA (the man who broke down in Gaza last year) is sounding very desperate in Yarmouk where IS have invaded.

    https://twitter.com/chrisgunness

    http://www.unrwa.org/crisis-in-yarmouk

    Earlier I read this piece by Andre Vltchek about how the Middle East is fractured and broken. A depressing read.

    So Much Wrong in the Middle East
    by Andre Vltchek / April 4th, 2015

    There is nothing, absolutely nothing right in the Middle East these days. There seems to be no hope left, and no fervor. All that was pure was dragged through filth. All that was great here was stolen or smashed by the outsiders. Enthusiasm had been ridiculed, then drowned, or burned to ashes, or shattered by tanks and missiles.

    Corruption thrives – corruption that inundated this entire region since the early days of Western colonialism, and then was sustained through the present-day imperialist global regime.

    The land of the Middle East is tired; it is crying from exhaustion. It is scarred by wars. It is dotted with oil wells and rotting armor vehicles. There are corpses everywhere; buried, turned into dust, but still present in minds of those who are alive. There are millions of corpses, tens of millions of victims, shouting in their own, voiceless way, not willing to leave anyone in peace, pointing fingers, accusing!

    This land is where so much began. Europe was nothing, when Byblos and Erbil stood tall, when a fabled civilization was forming in Mesopotamia, when Aleppo, Cairo and Al-Quds could only be rivaled by the great cities of China…

    And this is where greatness, progress, decency and kindness were broken and bathed in blood by the crusaders, and later by the colonialist scum.

    /..
    http://dissidentvoice.org/2015/04/so-much-wrong-in-the-middle-east/

    A SHOCKING INDICTMENT OF WHITEY AND HIS QUEST FOR TERRITORY AND OIL.

  • Ishmael

    Mary

    5 Apr, 2015 – 4:25 pm

    Agree, and i’m told I overstretch myself. lol

    Clearly their shit is unravelling. And long may it be so.

  • Mary

    OK. Get the ex pats out. Then give Saudi Arabia the go ahead to do their worst using the aircraft supplied by the West including us. Valerie Amos can then weep all she likes.

    Yemen conflict: Evacuations continue as fighting intensifies
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-32188017

    To keep the Red Sea safe for their pals in the entity of Israel, the US are attempting to create an airbase on the Yemeni islands of Socotra, a UNESCO World Heritage site.

    Yemen and The Militarization of Strategic Waterways
    Securing US Control over Socotra Island and the Gulf of Aden
    By Prof Michel Chossudovsky
    April 04, 2015

    http://www.globalresearch.ca/yemen-and-the-militarization-of-strategic-waterways/17460

  • Republicofscotland

    I know that talking about women is not entirely to your taste, but still, I must tell you that although I prefer Theresa May’s taste in shoes it is Nicola who has the more attractive legs.
    __________________________________

    Of course you like talking about women,you’re never done running them down on this blog,like Mary for instance.

    Your uncomfortable misogynistic persona, at times betrays you,an all boys school was it?

  • RobG

    @Habbabkuk (La vita e’ bella)
    5 Apr, 2015 – 2:46 pm

    But I am a real person, as anyone clicking on my name can find out.

    Whereas, Habba’s big mouth remains totally anonymous (you’re so brave).

    Howabout you tell us something about yourself?

    In the meantime it’s Easter, so here’s an egg…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR2JlDnT2l8

    (Wllliams composed parts of this whilst sitting on the Dover cliffs during World War One, watching ships taking troops across to France)

  • Habbabkuk (La vita e' bella)

    Republicofscotland

    “RoS Don’t bother with him/her…”

    ______________________

    There you go, boyo, you’ve been told! Mary’s the only loony who’s allowed to reply to me! 🙂

    But she’ll soon retire and then you can take over her task.

  • John Goss

    “Your uncomfortable misogynistic persona, at times betrays you,an all boys school was it?”

    Come on Noddy? Own up. You know there are no girls at Blyton. 🙂

  • Republicofscotland

    There you go, boyo, you’ve been told! Mary’s the only loony who’s allowed to reply to me
    _________________________________

    You really do dislike Mary,don’t you?

    Well all I can say,is Mary must be doing something right.

    Keep it up Mary.

  • Habbabkuk (La vita e' bella)

    RobG

    “But I am a real person, as anyone clicking on my name can find out.

    Whereas, Habba’s big mouth remains totally anonymous (you’re so brave).”
    ____________________

    Rob, your website tells us you’re a writer. But your grasp of language makes me doubt that.

    We are both real people and the only difference is that you are identifiable whereas I am not.

    You should not confuse the words £real£ and “anonymous”: they do not mean the same thing.

    ++++++++++++++++++++

    And now, as to you being a “real person” : you are not, in the sense that your life has nothing in common with the lives of most of the people who read this blog (the readers, not most of the commenters!). They work for a living as best they can and contribute to society in their own particular way; you, on the other hand, seems to have spent his life swanning around on your “travels” and are currently “resting” somewhere in Burgundy doing…what, exactly? In other words, you are a drone, entirely unqualified to speak for anyone of the wider public.

  • Habbabkuk (La vita e' bella)

    RoS

    “You really do dislike Mary,don’t you?”
    ____________________

    Somewhat less than she dislikes me, I suspect 🙂

  • Habbabkuk (La vita e' bella)

    RepublicOfTwaddle

    “Of course you like talking about women,you’re never done running them down on this blog,like Mary for instance.”
    ___________________

    On the contrary, dear boy. Dreoilin’s a splendid chapess and I’m rather fond of Technicolour as well.

    It’s true I’m not so fond of Macky but there again, I don’t subscribe to the popular belief that Mack’s a woman so that doesn’t count.

    Not convinced about “Miss” Castello either, mind you!

  • Habbabkuk (La vita e' bella)

    Mr Goss

    Your personal attack on me (boo hoo!!) allows me to make a personal request.

    You may remember that, a newby on this blog, I once complimented you on your gravatar (is that the right word?), saying that you were a devilishly handsome fella?

    Well now, I have noticed that the more recent photo of yourself which you provide on your own website shows a rather different John Goss. A John Goss to whom I fear I would hesitate to repeat my previous compliment.

    Would you perhaps consider using this more recent photo on this blog also?

  • Habbabkuk (La vita e' bella)

    Strictly in the interests of transparency and accuracy of course.

  • Mary

    I will RoS, I will as long as I have breath. He arrived in November 2011 and went on the attack for the reason, I believe, that I am pro-Palestinian. The trolls here twist that to mean anti-semetic or hating Jews.

  • Ishmael

    Republicofscotland

    5 Apr, 2015 – 5:04 pm

    As Mary illustrates, there are many more important things to focus on.

    And with that I shall duck out from commenting again and focus on doing more physical things in my community. Many that have women at the forefront. I just can’t focus on this stuff much mentally, but we surly need those who can, I just end up depressed.

    I used to be more reticent, not because it threatened me, but because some women are ott and unnaturally forceful/crazy imo, shades of Thatcher perhaps. And many have been virulent advocates or apologists for mass murder. “bomb them, bomb them, bomb them” comes to mind, among other things, Iraq etc. Perhaps it’s less a gender issue, but it does come into it imo.

    Maybe it should be thought that behind every great women is a great man. Whatever. Myself I don’t either sex does as good doing it by themselves.

    Keep up the good work all.

  • RobG

    Habba, I’ve lived the kind of life that most people thesedays couldn’t even imagine. Why do you think I’m so passionate about human rights, etc?

    Whereas you live in Toyland, and I can say that I’m not the only one here who thinks that the likes of you don’t have a clue what real life is.

    Why else would you spout such patent nonsense?

    Unless you’re totally immoral and paid for it…

  • Ishmael

    Yea RobG, Max Headroom springs to mind. But this is all giving him/her/it too much energy.

  • Habbabkuk (La vita e' bella)

    “Habba, I’ve lived the kind of life that most people thesedays couldn’t even imagine.”
    ______________________

    Exactly, Robbo. Which is why it is both funny and disagreeable to see you posing as the defender of the man in the street and the valiant opponent of the oppressive system.

    You are just on here for fun – is it that boring in Burgundy in the springtime?

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